Ok, so I moved to Colorado about two years ago to be closer to my fiance. We dated over two years long distance (I was in Seattle, he was first in Nashville, then Denver). Ever since I left Seattle I have put on almost 20 pounds. I have never had this happen to me before. I am getting really discouraged. I was the biggest I have ever been on our wedding day and I hate to say it but everytime I look at our pictures I have a hard time looking past how big I have become.
I will admit that my lifestyle has changed a bit since Seattle. My husband is a meat and potato eater so I tend to prepare the comfort food meals more than I ever used to. I never used to eat very much meat and would therefore eat more salads, beans and rice, veggies. I do try and eat salads, beans and rice, etc throughout the day and save the husband friendly meals for the dinners we share. I also never used to watch much tv but have fallen into the habit of a few movies a week with my husband. We both work full time and are full-time grad students so it is nice to go home a relax for a couple hours a week. My activity level has not changed much since Seattle.
Anyway, my self esteem has taken a dive since I've put on the weight. I joined a gym and would work out three to four times a week in the morning before work. This lasted a couple months until I fell sick one week which kept me home in bed and haven't found the motivation to go back. Its been two months. I am trying hard to get my daily share of fruits and vegetables, get plenty of fiber, and cut down on my portions at dinner. I am at the point though where I feel stuck because I lack the motivation to wake up early enough to get back in my gym routine. I know I need to because everytime I step on a scale I see the number higher than it has ever been and I feel ******. I have a really hard time not being self conscious about how I look during most parts of the day. I think I'm needing alittle encouragement to get my butt in gear and get to the gym. I'm not sure what I'm really looking for, just someone who understands the frustration of watching the numbers on the scale slowly rise. Someone to give me strength to get through those days when I do get back to the gym and I don't see the number declining like I would hope. I need to get my lifestyle back to a healthier one! I need to be held accountable for my own choices!
Thanks for listening and thanks for your support!