Broken Heart

I wake up in the middle of the night so often, not because i don't know how to sleep, but because my heart is suffering so so much. It doesn't get rest in the dreams either. I am a young girl, but even though i have experienced so much things that has litteraly broken my heart.

My heart is getting more black and colourless for each day that pass. I have so much to think of. My family for instance, they love me but they don't show me that love i want too see. They make me feel so sad, they make me so upset. I want to love them, i want to talk to them all day long, i want to laugh with them until my stomach hurts, but why should i when they show me so cold feelings?

Sometimes i pretend like i'm sleeping when my mom or sisters come into my room at night. They turn on the light and say my name, then when i don't answer, they turn of the light again and close the door. I cry all night. When they come in to the room I hold my breath so that they don't hear my crying voice. I have got enough. But what should i do? Nothing. I mean, i can't do anything.

Oh, dear God, you can see my situation and my crying heart, please show me a sign of hope or a light future. I love you, but sometimes i feel like you don't see me, i feel so lonely then. Because if i feel that God doesn't see me, the who could?
18-21, F
Dec 9, 2012