Waiting For These Feelings to Go Away

She keeps texting me and I don't know what to do.  God knows I want to text her back, but I can't let myself give in.  I told her I wanted space for a while.  It's only been 4 days.  And its not like the "space" thing mattered a whole lot cause we barely talked to begin with. not since...  Whenever I see her I am just so sad.  I couldn't bear seeing her today at practice.  Even if it was just for a few seconds.  I didn't think she notice me.  I was hoping she didn't, but then, after, she texted me.  she said "This is too hard". Damn it is hard but theres nothing either of us could do about it.  I miss her so much. I think about her all the time.  Whenever I think I'm doing a little bit better I see her or she texts me and it's back to square one.  She texted me "good night" too.  She stopped doing that after we stopped whatever one would call it(not boyfriend/girlfriend exactly but a romantic relationship).  Every fiber of my being just wants to stop feeling this way and deep down I know I still care for her alot.  I can't get over her (not yet) and she is making the process so much harder.  It's so sad cause right now I just wish I could see her.  I miss the way things were. I wouldn't even mind if we went back to how it was before our relationship.  I liked being friends with her but I'm afraid I'll always want more and we'll never be on the same page.  This sucks.

deadlove deadlove
18-21, M
2 Responses Jan 29, 2009

Both of those things happened. I buried myself in friends, one of which was Courtney. She became my "someone else." Then Taylor became interested again. I got dumped by Courtney and Taylor and I were something for a while. When we left for college we said we would always care for one another. She has a boyfriend at her school and I have a girlfriend at mine. We are both happy and Courtney is too, I believe. Well THAT's High school---ha! I've turned over a new leaf with the girl i'm with now. I'm not making myself soo vulnerable or acting too foolishly. Don't get me wrong, I'm still vulnerable, I'm still a fool for love....but I have learned to control my downright STUPID impulses. =) World keeps on spinning. Thank you for your kind, inspiring words. I wish I had read them back in 2009 :P would have helped a lot. I don't generally post on here unless I'm sad.... so much of this is fairly dated. Bye bye for now though, while I'm still happy :D

I lost a love for the second time this year, and it has been very difficult. Doesn't matter what age you are? I've been on a site about breakups, and if she is the one who broke up with you, then you must try to get over her, and that is not possible if she keeps stringing you along, with hopes of still being friends. As difficult as it is, for you to heal you need to block her calls, and try your best to stop all contact with her. If she has changed her mind about her feelings for you and wants to reconcile she will take the steps to make that clear to you some way. In the mean while, go out and try to be with friends and show her that your happiness doesn't depend on her. Sometimes when they see think you have moved on that is when they realize what they have lost. I wish love wasn't always a game, but even when I was young it was. Who knows maybe you'll find someone else and the tables will be turned. love2day