Its been almost 3 years. I met you, fell in love with you, moved in together, carried your child, and still sit next you everyday. I love you, have always loved you but you have hurt me to the deepest degree I could ever feel. Women, numerous women, you have been sexting online. I stumbled across the first incident. I searched for the rest. I am disgusted and mortified. I try to talk to you about it, but you just get mad and leave me. Last night, you came home at 1am. You were with your buddies. I was awake, tossing and turning.
I talk to my friends, the 2 that I have. They tell me to leave you. No advice...just to leave. We have a little girl together. She loves her daddy. I love her daddy too. I want to leave because I know I deserve the best. But her, my little ray of sunshine, she needs you.
I cry inside. I don't have any tears left. You tell me we will work it out. It happens again. You tell me that I take away your sexuality and the man you are. It happens again. You tell me you love me. It happens again. You yell at me. It happens again. I break down, cry, shake, yell, scream..until I can't feel anymore.
I have never wanted to grow old with someone the way that I want to grow old with you. I know that I have done the best that I can for you.
My heart is broken but I still carry on loving you the way that I would if it wasn't.
mariemccleary mariemccleary
31-35, F
Aug 20, 2014