I Am Here For Anyone Who Needs a Friend
My heart is pounding.... I feel on the verge of nausea, and I see her. I am not at my best, but am awake ( unusual for this time of night) , trying to hold it together. I tell myself if I can vent and let it all out, maybe I will stop shaking. I feel like I am having a panic attack induced by " Mega stress". I realize how unhealthy this is on me, this emotional toll on my whole physical well being. I need to calm down, and just breath, "relax", I tell myself ,"this too will pass". I will be OK.
I see her still....... when I am bombed with stress, MEGA stress from multiple sources all colliding coming all at once. I am able to recognize that it is not just the images of wittnessing someone dying before my eyes, but other battles that I fight each day. My life is good, with lots of ambition and future goals. I have many things I hope to accomplish no matter how hard it may be to get there. I feel if you want something bad enough, and you are willing to work hard enough , than anything IS possible! " Baby steps", as I call it. I will be able to do....... what I so deeply want to do. At times I can literally Taste my future goals. It will require a lot of hard work and determination, but then I am not the type who gives up.
I sometimes wonder if God gave me this battle ( hypotension) , not to totally stress me out, but to make me a stronger person. To give me such a strength and desire to seek out the unimaginable , that I might not have otherwise considered. If you find something that gives you such passion, such drive that it's on your mind constantly, you should go for it.
The shaking stopped, heart rate slowing, feeling better now. It's when I am able to talk about it , let it out, that I can redirect my thoughts to a healthier, and better vision. So even though this story may seem stupid to some who read it, well that's ok, cause it's not about being cool all the time. Life can be a battle field, and for those who have been there and can relate, well I'm here for you too. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to, even if that someone is just a sounding board, and doesn't talk back.
I see her still....... when I am bombed with stress, MEGA stress from multiple sources all colliding coming all at once. I am able to recognize that it is not just the images of wittnessing someone dying before my eyes, but other battles that I fight each day. My life is good, with lots of ambition and future goals. I have many things I hope to accomplish no matter how hard it may be to get there. I feel if you want something bad enough, and you are willing to work hard enough , than anything IS possible! " Baby steps", as I call it. I will be able to do....... what I so deeply want to do. At times I can literally Taste my future goals. It will require a lot of hard work and determination, but then I am not the type who gives up.
I sometimes wonder if God gave me this battle ( hypotension) , not to totally stress me out, but to make me a stronger person. To give me such a strength and desire to seek out the unimaginable , that I might not have otherwise considered. If you find something that gives you such passion, such drive that it's on your mind constantly, you should go for it.
The shaking stopped, heart rate slowing, feeling better now. It's when I am able to talk about it , let it out, that I can redirect my thoughts to a healthier, and better vision. So even though this story may seem stupid to some who read it, well that's ok, cause it's not about being cool all the time. Life can be a battle field, and for those who have been there and can relate, well I'm here for you too. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to, even if that someone is just a sounding board, and doesn't talk back.
By:
yetanotherWHY
Age:
26-30
,
Female
