It Was My Grandfather.

It started in the Summer 2012.. something that didn't last long but I will never forget.

I always went to my grandparents home, I was really close to them, they lived around 15 minutes away, so I didn't always get to go there. When I did go there my brothers, or a friend, or someone would always stay with me.. this time was different.

I was only me, myself, and I. I colored pages, played with the dog, and then it was time for me to go to bed. My grandma said "Do you want to sleep back with me or the couch" I said "The couch works" I said that because when I was young and slept with my grandma, my little cousin, peed the bed. And I forgot to mention he was there too.

She said okay and went to bed, my grandpa was on the end of the couch, and this couch was one of those long ones that it like a right angle, it goes in the corner and out.

He had been drinking a lot, I could smell it.. but I didn't think anything would happen.. So I just went to sleep..

Something wet was touching my lips.. I didn't know what it was, but I opened my eyes, just a little, to see my grandpa.. this seems so weird.. but he was putting something on my lips.. like with his finger, but what was he putting on my lips..? It didn't have a smell.. it was like a gel..

I didn't know if I ask him or act like it didn't happen.. so I just turned and acted like I was waking up and said I had to go to the bathroom and went in there, I started crying. And I took the tooth paste and scrubbed my lips very good.

Then.. I went back out there, not knowing that what did happened.. would.

I went back in there and laid down far away from him as I could.. I tried and tried to stay awake.. but I just couldn't.. I don't know why. It was like some one pulling a string that was tied to my eye lids.. because I did.. fall asleep.

I woke up to people moaning and making sex noises. It was horrible.. I opened my eyes, just a little so my grandma wouldn't know that I was awake.. He was watching ****. I couldn't stand the noise.. what was happening.. was was he planning on doing.. I had no clue.. I just silently cried.. I tried to stay awake but it was like a repeat of the last time.. I couldn't stop myself.

This time.. it was horrible, for the little I fell asleep I was having nightmares..but when I woke up.. it was the worst.. but I'm glad I woke up...

I opened my eyes just a little bit, and when I did I saw my grandfather.. putting his bad spot, penis, on my mouth.. I just fluttered my eyes.. I was terrified! I didn't know what to do! Should I scream? If I screamed would he hurt me? If I acted like I knew would he still hurt me.. would he hurt my family..

When I fluttered my eyes, I saw him back up and zip his zipper and sit down, I said I had to go to the restroom again... so I got up and went in the I fell straight to the ground and cried.. and cried.

My. Grandpa. Just. Molested. Me.

I flushed the toilet, like I peed or something. I washed my hands and put cold water on my face.. I walked out quickly and laid down wrapping in the blanket so he could try anything again..

I stay up for a while.. and I saw my grandma go to the bathroom, but she of course didn't know what had happened.. I finally fell asleep.

The next day, every one was up, I had breakfast. I couldn't stand how my grandpa was just sitting there, saying jokes, wrestling with my cousin... acting like last night he didn't even do anything!

I asked my grandma to take me home, and she did. I got all my stuff, and got in the truck. On the way there we stopped for ice cream, I got birthday cake. But I couldn't stop thinking about what happened... it was replaying and replaying in my head. I couldn't make it stop, I felt like I was going crazy..

We finally got to my house and I had told my mom to come into the bathroom.. I told her everything, every detail.. even what his penis looked like so she knew I wasn't 'just dreaming.'

Once my grandma left, I hugged her and said bye... and I never say bye unless I think it's final.. and this case, I hoped it was. I went upstairs and slept..

I heard Mike, my 'farther', who also abuses us mentally and not me, but my brothers and mom physically. He was cussing him out and saying things. That is to bad to put on here.

My mom was going to the store and we had my grandma, my other grandma, take us to the store, she only lived around a block away..

She asked why me and my mom was crying.. and we told her.. the hatred in her voice... it was horrible. This went on and I told my friends, I cried and cried, and even to this day I cry and I won't let any of my family touch me or I freak out..

We never told the police.. we didn't want any one to know, but my friends.. and all I have to say.. is if this ever happens to you, it isn't your fault and you need to speak up!

I thought it was my fault for a long time, that I could have done something to stop it, but I couldn't have.. it is not my fault, and it's not yours either.

Also, coming up and speaking up, telling someone, a peer, what happened is really important! If I wouldn't have said anything, maybe I would have gone back.. and it would come a routine.. but it's never too late to speak up.

It was my grandfather.