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No One To Talked To Now....

hi im jared, not my real name. im glad i find this site where i can talk to anyone with the same predicament in life...(being bi). im sad n and lonely coz the other person i was building my dreams on is no longer around. she dumped me for another one. ours is a long distance relationship. she was my college classmate, really had a big crush on her even before. we've met again a after 16 years in facebook!

She just came from a very long relationship, her best friend ih high school. to maked the story short she was dumped for another! And so with the technology nowadays we found each other in facebook just like any other friends or classmates whom we havent seen around for quite sometime. We became friends as she was still mending her broken heart( they were about together for 20 years i think) we talked about everything what happend to their relationship her health wise coz she was very thin. She was having spots on her body. To maked it short resigned from her work and her doctor adviced her to have some "new scenery " for her to recover fast and also to have a new environment to see. And so she went back home for a vacation and thats the start! We became a "pair"

For over a year that were together she came home twice for me...that was the best as in were always together and got to sleep in their house hahaha! I also got to visit her in her new work place in Asia and got to spend there for 2 months coz thats the allowed period i was able to stay legally. I went back home and then after a week she visited me for 5 days. and she left again for work. Our communications is through skype or YM after her work we see each other and sleep together through the internet:)) what a technology!
We talked about "future" how can we be together, how can i find work there so i can be with her...doing things together as a couple...etc. and then i watched her sleep until morning and sometimes i got to be her alarm clock....hahaha those were the days!

And then my worst fear came along! she was being courted by another woman in her office! she's a good catch though! nice work and everything and can offer everything she dreams off. And so that was it.. she says that she wanted a good future a sure one that she cannot foresee in my coz i dont have job! cant give her comfort in life. So what can i do? nothing. Though i know she shes in good hands now and im happy for her( thats the truth especially her new partner now seems to be very nice and she loves her! thats the most important thing)

I thought we can still be very good closed friends but hayyyyyyyyyyyy....it doesnt work that way anymore right! The attention that i used to have with her is with another person now! I was longing for her time, needing someone to talk to...coz as you can see..she's the only one i have really. Shes a good person, friend to rely on...but i guess im just human. still hurting if wasnt able to talk to me or answer my text messages or calls. I was needing that time who wouldnt be right! you get used to have someone by your side!

So now im really alone unhappy and sad. No one to share my feelings, my problems, everything...i have no one to turned to...
Sometimes i will call her number and if i got lucky she gets to answer it and i just listened to her voice for a few seconds and i will feel alright now. But i know now she thinks its me, and she will either turned off the phone or put it in a voice mesage! How fast my life turned into a one happy magical moment into a silenced.........

jaredmania jaredmania 36-40 3 Responses May 30, 2012

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i know the feeling my wife done the same thing three weeks ago i was gone away we was talking one night she told when she got out of class the next day she would call me i have not heard from her since we lost a little boy two months ago and three months ago i almost lost her due to blood clots on her brain and she pulls this i cry every day

sadness....

Oh, how I know what it's like to have my life turn around. Just over two months ago I was the happiest I've ever been in my life, then out of the blue, I was completely shut down.<br />
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How I miss her voice, her laughter. How I miss her daily texts, emails and phone calls. How I miss sharing each others days. How I miss all our plans to be married and to live together in a new home of our own. How I miss her love. Now I have nothing and nothing to look forward to.<br />
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I trusted and believed in her love whole heartedly. Now I'm in a void where the sun doesn't really shine anymore. My life is full of pain and I struggle to get through each and every day.<br />
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So there it is jaredmania, I know how a happy magical moment turns into a silence.