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Sad Days..

In my years of life I have only lost family.
In 2006 I lost my close Aunt who was like my 2nd mom and that was hard but i was young and never really thought or cried about it.
but on the 25th of january I lost a close friend.. I have never lost any friends or close friends before. I had known him since 7th grade and im a senior in high school going into college now.. I almost dated him in november and I think that's why it made it harder for me. He commited suicide.. and nobody can understand why really when he had everything he wanted and he was doing better in life.. and i had just talked to him all day on the 23rd.. I have cried everyday and he is on my mind 24/7.. I know I shouldnt be mad at myself but I just cant help it. I wish there was more that I could have done I wish I could have seen the signs and the pain in his eyes. I guess I didnt cause I never would have thought in a million years that he would do this..
StephyBlue StephyBlue 18-21 4 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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Sometimes suicidal people show signs about it. Other times they are able to hide it very well. I've been trained in how to try to identify these things from being in the military and the suicide rates we have. I'm not going to tell you how to feel, you lost a close friend. I know how you feel I've lost many family and friends from different things two of them shooting themself. I will tell you that ill be here if you need to talk, and that its ok for you to cry until you feel like you've gotten some closure. This may sound weird but talk to him, in your room or visit the grave and talk there it might help you as it did me.

Awhh :/
I will take your advice and I want to say thank you that means a lot.

Glad to have been able to share, and your welcome

Yeahh it's sad :/
and it just leaves you asking why..

wow. thats sad. When I was about 9 or 10, a friend of my family's daughter commited suicide (she was only 10). She hung herself with her jump rope from her ceiling fan. I remember hearing this as a kid and being baffled and terrified. Still, to this day, I dont understand suicide. I am often depressed- but would never consider........

There was a guy from my HS that committed suicide about two weeks before he was supposed to graduate in 2008. Keep in mind that 2008 was the 5th of 7 graduations of my HS I sat through. The principal in his remarks in that graduation mentioned that Chris was suffering from depression and I was sitting in the audience with the realization that I had been battling depression for the previous year. I can only hope that your late friend was able to impact someone in a comparable manner.