Am I Alive?

I have lived many places and have met many people. Yet I have always felt lost. Person after person has let me down. Person after person has promised things that they were unable to keep. Relationship after relationship I have struggled to find truth. The truth of love. At 16 I began to struggle with self infliction. Then moving rather quick into heavy drug use. Throughout the years I have lost myself. I do not know what my favorite color is nor things that make me happy. People have become my identity. I transform into whatever that person needs me to be and never am i satisfied with what they in return give me. I am alone and have been for a very long time. I no longer use drugs.....and have graduated college. I have a four year old daughter and recently left my husband. Perhaps I am searching for something that does not exist. perhaps i have expectations that cannot be met. I desire a man who can and will give anything for me. For when i love i give all of myself to them. But instead i run into power and control time after time. Them wanting and wanting and refusing to give equally to my leave of compassion.
loveddesired loveddesired
Sep 8, 2012