The Pursuit Of Happyness !!!!!

this story is short!

im 17, born 95".

i was only 8 years old when the child service took me in to a new family1, my dad took me in the arms and told me look after your brother and never trust him, i didnt understand what he ment. i was struggling my memories from 3-8 years was a drunk,abusive,drug full gangster father and a abusive psycho mom, i remember everything how my dad took me to trips out of town because he was dealing, the fighting mm cheating, mom threw a kitchen knfe after dad that was 6 inch away from my face... anyways i was tired i was looking after my brother.

FAMILY 1.
i knew something was wrong i tried telling the police, child service, school....
none understood i lived over five years with a pedo "dad" i saw him abuse my best friend,hes sister and two other girlfriends i couldnt tell anyone i knew i was trapped, we went on a trip to turkey where we was gonna be for 7 days, where my parents suddenly came out of a car, they was following us from norway, they tried to kidnapp me we was in turkey for over 100 days extra, we was hiding while there was court and hunters, in norway the found out we was gonna break out, so we came back home. i was under 13 years old how was i gonna focus on school? i didnt i wen on a rampage "F everybody" trip i was 14 when i sneaked in to night clubs, did drugs, gangs and was drinking as hell!!! after 5 years there came some new evidence and my foster "father" was convicted for 40 days! he ruined the lifes of 6 children and didnt get more then 40 days. in 9th grade i moved to a new foster home.

FAMILY 2.
they was the typical "youre one of us, we love you. your a part of our family, were your parents." well i didnt handle school they thought i was a sloppy kid who didnt do anything, they didnt understand that never had a childhood i did never get to play or rest, i was facing a new breakdown... ive lived there around 2 years know, they found me depp under the snow, -7 and with so much moonshine in me that i didnt feel life, i was in the snow for over 4 hours. i finally got out of the gang,drugs and drinking. and started back on school.
but how was i gonna make it everybody looked at me like i was a freak, i cant go to college when ive ditched 10 years of school, but i found a secret skill, carpetting,building, i was a handy man, so i started going to carpenter school this is my second year, i wanted it so bad and with all my life story, at my 17th birthday called my father in turkey that i was done i didnt want to be a part of hes family because trough the years i never tallked or visited them when they lived in norway, but suddenly i started feeling week again how was i gonna make it? i didnt feel i got help, i went back into the darkness! i went SUICIDAL!

SUICIDAL.
it was my 13-14th just 17 years old i took to boxes of 40mg ritalin and swallowed it all, 60-70 pills, the darkest knight of my life i saw my whole life flashing by, i woke up day after at the hospital and looked at my hand full of scars. i begged my new foster home for rehab!

REHAB.
i went to rehab and they wrote me not suicidal but still depressed wich ive been my whole life. i made a promiss to this day still hold, to tell my Psychiatrist when i felt bad again.
she told everybody i needed rest, i needed a family, i need to take a step at a time. i finally when home.

HOME.
i went home and they started talking about school and life it made me sad and tired.
i wanted rest, they was paranoid and affraid i understood them, so child service got me 24-7 watch, it made me not feel relaxed. after a while this new guy came, i didnt like him he had that weird creepy look, anyway two weeks later, i went out to take a normal cigarette, and the police showed up, throwed me down and put handcuffs on me, my family" my foster home had betrayed me, given me up like the rest of the world, they put me in asylum, it made me more depressed. my Psychiatrist wrote me out fast! APPARENTLY MY FOSTER HOME CAN TELL IM SECRETLY SUICIDAL WHEN I AND MY 3 Psychiatrist CANT!

NOW.
ive been living in a orphane home the past 2 weeks. this is a 5 minute version of my life!
i have a dream i wanna become a carpenter, a car, a family, i want to learn how to love how to feel love. to be onest im scared its under 9 months till my 18th b.day and im so sad,lonely, i feel left, i feel forgotten,betrayed, so much i look around me and i se people smiling, and men and woman kissing,flirting. i want a life. I WANT LOVE. but how am i gonna become a carpenter alone? i have no one in my life, everybody betrayed me. i need someone that can love me like theyre own children. I WANT A CHANGE!

thank you for reading please respond back,
giro227 giro227
18-21, M
Dec 1, 2012