Totally In Love, Totally Lost In Life

I have been with my husband for 10 years. We have known each other since we were small children. I love him with all my heart which has made the past 3.5 years so difficult.

It's been 6 years since I graduated University. I was very successful in both University and the 3 years afterward. It was then that I found the opportunity to work in my hometown in my field. I work in the arts, and my hometown is by far the least artsy, blue collar city around. It was a big transition since we were both happily employed in our previous city. After only 8 months the company I moved for went bankrupt and I have tried to make my way as a freelance artist ever since. I am very hard worker, and have done everything possible to make my way. It's been incredibly difficult. My husband on the other hand found his career here and we bought a new house about 1.5 years ago. We totally flipped our house and it's on a beautiful property.

I have been self employed for 3 years, now working part time, and totally rethinking my career, something that has been so important to me for so long. My husband on the other hand is happy in his career, and is really pressing for children. I want children too, but I am so tired of feeling like a loser when I could get a great position elsewhere. He knows the only reason we stay here in this city is for him.....

To top this all off we found out a few months ago that his mother has terminal cancer. I feel so awful for wanting to leave, but I feel like I have no future and I am lost and stuck. What do I do? I feel like I am in an impossible situation for me to be truly happy.

lostlizzy lostlizzy
26-30, F
Jul 31, 2012