Depressioni am always misunderstood. I have low self esteem.Most women don't like me and i don't even know why. They talk bad about me but don't even know me. I am quiet,shy, don't like to start any trouble,i don't party, i don't have a boyfriend,i am a college student,i volunteer at two major hospitals in New York City.So why do people hate me for doing good things in life. i hate that i have to walk around in this neighborhood when some girls don't want me here. They don't even know but yet i am judged because they choose to judge me. i have my issues to deal with.ive been taken advantage by men because i was young and stupid. I use to have confidence now i walk around like a zombie that wants to be invisible. Guys just want to get in my pants and they apparently know how to sweet talk their way into my brain. i am sick and tired dealing with the same bullshit. is there anyone out there i can trust. I am a good person i know it. I have a problem because i do care too much.I have a good heart. I took out a 20,000 student loan for my parents to pay some bills including the mortgage that is still sucking us dry. ive volunteered since i was 16 in soup kitchen,nursing home and hospitals. i want to get my bachelors in nursing. so why am i always a target? i don't know i just want to be left alone. i hate the way i look i cant change it because i was born this way.i hate being discrimination against being black. Some people always underestimate me thinking i am stupid but i have a 3.0 GPA and know a lot than most. i am tired of everyone not understanding me. My parents wont let me party and oh yea i am 22 years old living under there roof that's mostly the reason why i cant party or hang out with my friends which i understand but does that make me a bad person.Does it also make me a bad person that i take care of my 73 year old father.Does it make it a bad person to be the youngest in my family to care about my family unlike my older siblings.Does it make me a bad person for me to care to have a relationship while guys just want to have sex. This world is confusing sometimes i am ashamed for being who i am and the sad part is i haven't done anything wrong.
scarless21 22-25, F 3 Responses 0 Mar 22, 2012