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Where Are The Good Men

Yet again I just found out a guy i was interested in is a well known player. I wouldnt expect it because he was unattractive smart and living at his mom house. So now what? I've lower my standards and still I got played like a dog.ive seen girls who are so mean to their boyfriends but yet have a wonderful man by their side. I'm a good girl and guys have told me that but they couldn't be with me because I wasn't wild enough.....WHAT? Just because I don't party and I'm in school trying to maintiain 3.0 gpa to obtain my nursing degree means I'm not eligible to date. Um what is this world coming to? SEX is every man priority not commitment. I believe most married men cheat too that's why I am scared to get married because guys are always unfaithful and lie most of the time.i don't get you guys you say you want a woman who is educated,beautiful, and etc but when you actually find her it's a different situation like she's still not good enough. I'm not ugly nor I'm beautiful I'm in between as you can view on my display picture on my profile. I go to a really good university in NYC and volunteer, drive, and a decent job.i don't ask for much just a man who can be faithful and IM ONLY 22 YEARS OLD.i never had a boyfriend because I couldn't even get a guy to take me out for dinner in the first month. What more can you guys want? I've been talking to both unattractive and attractive guys which they turn out to be complete jerks.they always tell me they never ready for a relationship but soon as we stop talking there in a relationship with a beautiful girl who party all the time with no education with a BIG BUTT.like are you serious i refuse to feel like something is wrong with me although sometimes I do feel like that. I just don't get it,is wearing less clothes and partying a lot is wifey material than a college student trying to better their life please tell me? I keep getting hurt and I'm tired of it.i think it's better to be single for the next 20 years than in getting married to a man who supposedly love you but is cheating on you with hoes?i don't know what to think of this world anymore it's going out of control
scarless21 scarless21 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 20, 2012

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You are not hopeless, as this category title states. You've been through bad experiences with men, which I know hurts. Don't compare yourself to these other women you mentioned in your story. One day they'll wake up from their nightmare -- hopefully before they get killed -- and realize what a mess they are. It sounds to me like they do not value or take pride in themselves. Their only goal in life may be to party and find some tin-can sugar daddy (yeech) who will support their bad lifestyle habits? If the guys they hang out with don't like you, then I highly doubt they value these other women either.

You, on the other hand, are working diligently towards making something positive for yourself. You're intelligent, driven, and beautiful. It takes a special man to appreciate what a well-rounded person you are, so don't sell yourself short.

Don't get sucked into the vortex of someone else's insane parties, however tempting going out and having fun is. Try getting together with people in a settings that feels comfortable and safe for you. Even if they agree, don't let the snake-oil salesmen lure you away if it doesn't feel right. Stick to your guns and don't let someone else force you to make bad decisions. You can and should be proud of who you are and your expectation of being with a good man, not a moron. Be faithful to yourself first.

I know that's a lot, and I hope it doesn't come across as a lot of gobbledegook. I wish you success in your education, future, and in one day meeting the one that's right for you.

There are good men out there, you just have to learn how to pick them and that takes experience. There is a learning curve involved here, unfortunately. And you are right, so many men just want to use women. It doesn't make these girls any better, by the way, it's just the stereotype they want (for now).



Find older men. Maybe 5 to 6 years older than you. And Honey, not all men cheat, only the weak-willed and selfish ones do.