How Can This Be?

Maybe it's my approach, personality, lack of confidence, or something. It doesn't make sense to me though. I always figured that if I were truly good looking then I'd have a lot of girls interested in me. Or, maybe the problem is that I'm just not willing to work for the hot women. I want to be pursued as much as they want to be pursued. I feel like it's bullshit to expect the guy to do all the work. Then again, perhaps a good looking girl has so many guys chasing her that she isn't willing to do any work to actually go after one who doesn't fall all over himself to get with her.

The result of this quandary is that I end up dating girls that are nice enough, but not physically attractive enough to keep my interest. I don't expect a super model (my ex-wife was no super model, but I still thought she was hot in her own way), but I do expect someone I'm not ashamed to be seen with. I'm not looking for someone out of my league, just someone in my league.

If I had to guess, I'd say that women would probably rate my looks as a 7 (out of 10). Some women would say higher than that, and I suppose others might say lower.

Maybe I sound arrogant here, but I assure you, I am not. In fact, my self-esteem is fairly low (though I'm smart enough to not let that show). And maybe this is a stupid thing to be hung up on, I don't know.
liferiot liferiot
26-30, M
5 Responses Sep 24, 2006

man... you just gotta believe you can have exactly what you want and yes.. don't give a damn.. just go for it.. if you get slapped.. you are probably on the right track.. don't go back.. push further... soon you'll weaken her resistance... ball's in your pants

I compleatly agree with Klassykris- looks arnt everything. If you want a realtionship to last, you need to have more then that. I know I'm a head turner, and beleve me, I've had my share of hot guys, but I've learned that I would MUCH rather find an inner beauty in a man. My fiance wouldnt be on a GQ cover, but he really is the sexiest man in my eyes, becuase there is so much about him that just makes me all warm and fuzzy. PERONALITY is the key!

I would say that the beginning of your story is a turn off. My first inclination was to say that women aren't all about looks- I'm a hot woman and I look for someone who treats me well. You put right up front that you aren't looking to make any special effort. That comes across and it isn't attractive. If you want someone special, you have to be special, and treat her in a special way that makes you stand out from other men who aren't willing to make the effort.

Kudos to "Sleepwalker". I agree. It's when you don't give a damn anymore what people think that your attractive meter starts hitting the high marks. This is what has happened to me. I'm in my mid 40's now and have attractive guys like you hitting on me ALL the time. Of course I look very young for my age but hey, it's probably because of my confidence level. Don't worry darlin, you will get there too. Just remember, there's a fine line between confident and cocky. I won't even talk to a cocky guy, no matter how good looking he is.

It's probably due to a lack of self confidence. I don't know you at all, but this seems to be the most frequent downfall of attractive men. The problem with self confidence is that it is often only attained after one doesn't care about what people think anymore... somewhat of a paradox. But that's life.