BAH!

You Are 90% Kinky

Only because I'm not interested in guys and I don't want my bait and tackle pierced. This is BS! I'm more like 99% Kinky.

TheEtherBunny TheEtherBunny
26-30, M
7 Responses Mar 20, 2009

One day, he may catch me, but I'm prepared. I've got stungun.

You are sick. but funny.

You are a sick man.

Thank you.<br />
<br />
*bows*<br />
<br />
And that's nothing. Check this out:<br />
<br />
<br />
At EXACTLY 3:33 A.M. this morning, I entered my roommate’s room.<br />
<br />
A few quick notes about my roommate’s room: His room is VERY dark because he is the type of weirdo who puts aluminum foil over his windows so he can sleep-in without the early morning sunshine disturbing him. Also, he likes his room COLD, not just cold, but freezer COLD. In fact, even though our house is equipped with A/C, he installed a separate window A/C unit in his room and put those thick, plastic strips you see on some industrial freezers (the kind that dangle from the ceiling) in the door leading to his room.<br />
<br />
In the near total darkness of my roommate’s room, my naked body alight with an eerie green glow (he had left his cable box on and the clock has a green LED), I cautiously stepped onto his bed and walked toward its center. I didn’t have to worry about my movements waking him or his girlfriend because this goofball, who doesn’t ever seem to have money for groceries, bought a king size tempur-pedic bed.<br />
<br />
After moments of careful creeping, I finally found myself standing over my unconscious roommate and his girlfriend as they lay spooning. I eyed both of them to make sure they were still securely in Morpheus’ embrace then took my flashlight in one hand and aimed it at the ceiling. I’m tall, so the flashlight almost touched the ceiling and when I turned it on, it shone like some dim and dying star with its rays radiating out across the ceiling.<br />
<br />
As I stood astride those sleeping fools, like the great Colossus of Rhodes, my shining flashlight in one outstretched hand, I smiled in triumph. After a few moments, the thrill of my adventure left me and I decided to take things a step further. I turned off my flashlight and put in my iPod earphones and cranked up the music. While “Maniac” blasted my eardrums, I psyched myself up for the next daring step. I began to dance. I danced carefully so as not to wake my sleeping roommate or his girlfriend, but dance I did!<br />
<br />
There was a scary moment when his girlfriend turned in her sleep. She turned away from my roommate and faced the side of the bed, barely bumping into my leg. Needless to say, the surprise/fright of her unexpected movement caused my body to tense up and put an end to my dancing. At that point I figured I better get out while the getting’ was good. After I got off the bed, I started for the bedroom door, but I couldn’t leave. Not yet.<br />
<br />
I quietly walked over to the side of the bed where his girlfriend’s face was and gingerly love tapped her on the lips with my Johnson. I just couldn’t help myself. Anyway that was the end of my latest raid. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have EP. Mwuhahaha!

MMM. "Wildfire".

Ah, yes, "Wildfire". Oh, wait, you said, "wildlife". I thought you were referring to the song "Wildfire" and I was going to comment on how ironic that was because that's what I play on my iPod while I'm riding you like a stallion as you lie unconscious beneath me in an ether-induced stupor. Does this sound familiar?<br />
<br />
We'll be riding Wildfire<br />
We'll be riding Wildfire<br />
We'll be riding Wildfire <br />
<br />
On Wildfire we're gonna ride<br />
Gonna leave sodbustin' behind<br />
Get these hard times right on out of our minds<br />
Riding Wildfire<br />
<br />
MMMHHH!!!

oh we know how you really feel about other guys sir<br />
<br />
I'm sure your number would be higher if they mentioned wildlife