How Can I Feel So Much Pain For Something That Made Me So Happy.

How is it that the best thing that has ever happend to me in my life has been the thing that has caused me the most pain.

The last two years of my life where probably the happyist that I have ever known.  When I met my ex I had been pretty miserable.  I had a good job, but I had no one that I really connected with, but when I meet her, everything in my life seemed to click together.  Everything made sense.  I love her more than anything in this world.  When I meet her it finally felt like I had a reason for being.  And no matter what happened between us I never wanted to be without her.

Now that we are not together I feel like I don't know what to do.  She is all that I think about.  I am struggling to do my job and to just keep moving on. 

Here lately I have found myself asking "why".  What have I done to deserve this?  Who or what did I offend to deserve such pain.  I feel like I am in purgitory for a crime that I don't know that I commited.  I have always tried to live my life to the best that I can.  I don't smoke, I barely drink,  I have always been willing to help out anybody who has needed it, and I have always been told that "You are one of the best people that I know."  So if all of this is true, then why have I been put through so much pain.  How is it that the only thing that has ever made my life worth living be so painfully removed.  Don't I deserve to be happy.  I don't know,  maybe I don't.  I just don't understand WHY!
bigchuck1397 bigchuck1397
26-30, M
9 Responses Jun 14, 2007

Im sure you really are the great man everyone tells you you are, and i believe your ex thought so too. I my self cared deeply for a guy and made him as happy as i could, but i wasnt happy, i dint let him know so when i brok it off he was hurt badly. I am not defending her actions, but maybe she just didnt feel you were the one for her. But dont give up hope. The one you need is still out there

it's all karma - just go with the pain - everything is just how it is meant to be - your soul is being cleansed. we live in dichotomies all the time joy/pain dark/light - embrace the pain - if not what you resist persists! emotions cant kill you - your thoughts create your feelings - change your thoughts & you will feel better.

it's all karma - just go with the pain - everything is just how it is meant to be - your soul is being cleansed. we live in dichotomies all the time joy/pain dark/light - embrace the pain - if not what you resist persists! emotions cant kill you - your thoughts create your feelings - change your thoughts & you will feel better.

You really have to stop and think about how much you love YOU. Pleasing everyone else, at the expense of your own needs is the biggest obstacle in truly being apart of any healthy relationship. <br />
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You are always doing for others, and sacrificing your needs in the process. People pleasers find it hard to maintain healthy relationships, because they are so worried about what the other person thinks, does, says, wants; that they forget to maintain their own personal health (mentally and emotionally). You have to be secure as an individual (with no one to rely on or look to for purpose other than just yourself), before you can be in a meaningful relationship; so that it's not all one-sided. <br />
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If your purpose is only to be there for that person, and do everything with/for them, you're more of a slave to them than you are a partner. Most people who are not people pleaser types cannot cope with the clingyness of people who are. They begin to feel overwhelmed and smothered. <br />
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Love who YOU are, without needing to have another person validate your purpose for being; and you will find that relationships (of all kinds) become much more meaningful and healthy. You learn to be IN the relationship along WITH the person, instead of trailing behind them to make sure they stay interested. Love thy self!! FIRST! You'll be happier, and future partner(s) will be happy for YOUR happiness and well being!

I know exactly how you feel. I was with my fiance for a little more than two years, then suddenly its like a switch flipped in her and she told me that she didn't think she loved me anymore. I keep asking myself "why" also. I don't think there is an answer. You will probably always have feelings for her. Its going to be hard, but we just have to look towards the future and try to make the world a better place for the future generations.

I know exactly how you feel. I was with my fiance for a little more than two years, then suddenly its like a switch flipped in her and she told me that she didn't think she loved me anymore. I keep asking myself "why" also. I don't think there is an answer. You will probably always have feelings for her. Its going to be hard, but we just have to look towards the future and try to make the world a better place for the future generations.

Today, I feel that life sucks. It depends what day you catch me on. Sometimes, in spite of how much we try to be good people, bad things just keep on happening. Somehow, as much as we keep getting knocked down, we know in our hearts that we will get up again and the warrior spirit in us will never totally give up. We will try to find that special person, better job, relationship, survive a health crisis, etc. Keep trying to reach out to other people. Even though isometimes it feels like we are totally alone, we are never alone. They are others who do care about you. I send you my love and hope that things will be going better for you soon. Take care. I'll be thionking about you.

i understand what you are going through. people say the same thing to me and i always ask why theirs so much **** in my life. But we still need to move on even though its easier said than done.I don't think you should drink because it is bad and that's what i do and the rest of my family does and its mest up our lives... even though it seems like it helps all it does is push your feelings away and blocks them out until you explode and snap (that's happened a couple of times)....you should defenatly try new things

If we keep asking ourselves 'why' we'll only drive ourselves crazy. Its not easy to accept, but we have to greive for our lost loves and relationships. It hurts, but time keeps moving forward. Honestly, my cure for a borken heart was always get drunk and find another woman. it worked for me - sort of. Just my way of coping and dealing. Best wishes for you and your way.....