Yes!

I am ignoring, you and everyone else. Its not that I am just locking you out, and pushing you away, I am doing it for everyone and anyone who attemps to try to get back into my heart. Its just not going to happen. Someone can only feel so much hurt, till they do the only thing that they can do, and that is shut everyone out, and push everyone away, and right now I am at the point that I am just pushing everyone away in order to cope with what is going on with me.

 

I am not doing it to be mean or anything, and I am not doing it to be a *****, or to hurt anyone, I am doing it, because its really the only thing that I know how to do right now, in order to cope with things. Its what I know how to do, to get through this. Some may say its ****** up, that I am doing this, but everyone has their ways of coping with things, and this is mine. Its not like I am out to hurt anyone, I am doing it so I can only hurt, and no one else has to hurt, or feel sorry for me, because that is not what I want.

 

As some may know, I have lost a child, and since yesterday, the "what ifs" have been on my mind, and the "Well if this didn't happen" have been on my mind as well, and its very hard to cope with all of this, I just keep thinking about my daughter, and the pain that is in my heart is pretty hard to deal with, and I know if I talk to anyone, they will feel sorry for me, or get sad or anything like this, so I just keep quiet, and just deal with it on my own.

 

So yes, as harsh as this may sound, I am ignoring you, and everyone else right now, I am just trying to cope, and pushing people away, and locking people out, is kinda my way of coping with things that hurt me to this extent, and its hard. So please forgive me for pushing away, its the only way I know how to cope right now......

deleted deleted
26-30
4 Responses Feb 11, 2010

Well, take as long as you need I guess.

hugs n love*<br />
i know u ll be ok ,aly*

AlyAngel, I will pray for you,you will be on my mind. I think anyone should understand....

AlyAngel, I will pray for you,you will be on my mind. I think anyone should understand....