I Don't Know What Is Wrong But I Feel Unusual

its been on-going really... I started on the new anti depressants and they have been making me so sick and nonfunctional

can't sleep or eat properly and am clenching my jaws and feel weird in the head and on the point of wanting to break down

I am sick as can be ... I ate last night but was sick afterwards and every time I eat I feel hungry but then sick and turned off

now I am shaky and nauseated and I have stopped my tablets last week... I have to see the doctor but I am sick of them 

they dont really help me much. they haven't got the answers and they just keep telling me BS ... 

I know something is wrong.  I have headaches and weakness and my neck and back are aching so badly all I do is lay in bed 

I would take a tablet to ease the depression so long as it won't make me put on weight and I want to go back to exercise and enjoying life

before I die here from madness.... profound madness

I am not really interested in much ... I don't care about relationships or work or study at the moment

I wish I could go on a holiday somewhere nice with a person I can trust...

I don't want to be bothered by anyone,,,,I just wish I knew the best medication for me to feel better


when I get like this I hate myself and hate life and want to just end it all

its hard to even get up and do things I am so nauseated and headaches are so bad...

all my sister can talk is how she wants oral sex and how great she is at it... and i think yuk... i have this bloody skin bleeding and vaginal pain and itch 

and its the shame that is associated with herpes and stds and child sexual abuse that upsets me as much...