"He who is not impatient is not in love." - an Italian Proverb

I think I live up to this statement pretty well, but I'm not too proud of it. In contrast to my favorite quote, the Bible says,

"Love is patient, love is kind..."

It's hard. There's this guy I've loved since I started high school, and I miss him immensely. I wanna be with him, talk with him, and care for him, but we're just not there yet. Part of me feels he cares for me too, but I still have my doubts. He kinda turned down my feelings for him, but began giving me more attention. It was all so strange. I don't know what to believe. What should I think when I see him staring at me from across the room? What should I feel when he always wants to touch my hand? Part of me believes that we're gonna make it; I praise God for the faith and hope. Sadly, a very significant section of my soul doubts the very concept of us being "together" and in consummate love (Because that's what I want). I'd ask him how he truly feels, but how could I ever trust him to tell the truth? And what if he told the truth, and it wasn't what I wanted to hear? I'm afraid of reality. It's hurt me so d*mn much. So I'm left waiting. I have to wait and see more signs. I have to wait for him to make a move so significant that I'll no longer have any doubts as to how he really feels. Until then, I will forever love him, because he is my stability, my security, and my gift from above.
WinterIncandescence WinterIncandescence
18-21, F
Aug 31, 2014