Living With An Emotional Abuser
I have lived with my emotionally abusive spouse William, for the past 18 years. Like many others I stay because of financial commitments, one son still living at home, my pet dogs and my age. Things became so bad a little while ago, that I told him I could not see us staying together if he did not seek help for his outbursts of rage. To give him his due, he did get himself a course of psychotherapy - but little has changed, perhaps only the length of time between explosions.
Thank goodness I have my son, we support and defend each other at such times, I also have other family members not too far away who are aware of how he can be. The trouble is that living with somebody like this changes your own personality in a negative way. I had a miserable weekend, with us having an argument on Sunday night, and hostile communication between us all day on Monday. I still feel so anti-him today, I just cannot seem to shrug it off at the moment, even though I did phone my sister and off-load this morning.
I think most people would regard an abusive marriage as one where there is physical violence, unfortunately that is not true. A while ago I began writing it all down, including my feelings of anger and distress, it is now turning into a book, which in itself is a form of therapy for me.