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Sick And Tired! I Am Running Out Of Gas In My Marriage!

 
I just had it today, 10 years with my husband and I felt like he never hears me. Simple request, please fix the faucet, or please fix the towel holder. The answer is always "OK" but it never get done. I keep repeating myself over and over again until I become upset and angry towards him, then I started feeling bad for what I said to him. This is my life with my husband for 10 years. I have two jobs to pay our bills, he lost his jobs 3 years ago and I have been the provider. I came home tired, and in my good days, I get to clean and cook that will take hours of my only time off that I am suppose to take a rest. My husband will only take a day or two to mess up the whole house again and clutter that you can see all over the house. Am I a bad wife to give him a hard time over these? He can be sweet, but never kind and keep his possesion for himself, since I married him with it, after 1 year of marriage he bougth a house just put his name only, I did not say anything, on the second year, he bougth another one and put his name only. I did not say anything, now I have to pay the mortgage and he told me once people pay rent, so that means this will be my rent. As a wife, I felt very hurt, I asked myself many times, Am I that underserving of his trust and kindness? that he can't even ask me what I want or It is OK for him to do it, after all we are married. I have developed a recentment over years and thinking how can someone be that way, is this fair, is this OK?

These are my questions to myself everytime I am alone, feeling sorry for myself, Is this right or wrong, I must be crazy or begining to loss my mind, I have scheduled a counselor meeting to discussed these issues. I am hoping I will get some clarity. Any comment is welcome.
MGhonesty MGhonesty 41-45 3 Responses Apr 26, 2011

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I know it is little comfort... but you two may not be so far apart.<br />
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Men derive a lot of their self-worth from their ability to provide... and if he is not in a position to provide right now that surely bothers him. I am NOT saying he is treating you right...only that there may be more to this than you are taking fully into account.<br />
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Try encouraging him... and expressing your feelings (but not beating him over the head with them!) and see if that helps... if not, well... just be sure of your limits. Do not stand for more than you can readily forgive...<br />
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Best wishes!!

I have same issues as you plus no intamacy. I am constantly struggling do I stay for the kids (4) or do I go. I does sound like you are being used. For most states it doesn't matter who the houses name is in as the assets upon divorse are equally devided so I would not worrie about that, but it does show that he does not trust you. When I started in business someone told me that is is never as good as a good day and never as bad as a bad day. Good luck

You sound like his slave! And you get to pay for the privelage to boot! Leave. Run. Ive been there with a selfish lazy SOB and drove myself to exhaustion and never even got a thank you for my effort. Get out. Best of luck :)