Disgusted And Devalued

I'm married and have been for ten years. I had two kids from previous relationship. He is a minister and so am I. I've prayed for restoration. The beginning was fine...up until he started being controlling. From there, I rebelled. Through the years, he lost his church and blamed me. He lost friends and blamed me.. He lost business and business associates and blamed me. He lost money and blamed me. I blamed myself up until three years ago. He travels all of the time. I'm always home. He said he would never give up ministry for me. Of course I never asked him to do so. I see him about 1 1/2 to two weeks out of the month. When I talk to him..he gets mad. All he wants is for me to cook for him. I go out by myself, I go to church by myself..I even pray by myself. It is like I'm married to a machine....Now we haven't had sex probably in almost a year. I don't want to...and I'm sure he does not as well..lol. Nevertheless...I believe that divorce is imminent for me. I'm forty one and he is MUCH older. I'm just tired and venting..Feels good to get it out...