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Someone Might See.

I have been with my husband for almost 21 years. I have loved him through thick and thin, but lately I am just numb. Almost 2 years ago, I found out about his girlfriend, who he had been involved with for several months. He swore it was a mistake, and that he loved me. I decided to stay, as we had many years, and three kids together, and this was the first time he had strayed. I felt it was worth trying to repair.
I am the type of person who does not want or need many material things, and I feel he has always taken that for granted. For our entire relationship, I have asked for little things; hold my hand in public, dance with me in the living room, when your friends are here, make me feel like you are proud that I am your wife. His response to these... SOMEONE MIGHT SEE. It makes me feel like he is ashamed of me. I know I am not a super model, but I am attractive, hard working, and loyal to a fault. I feel like I deserve better. I feel like I am only here to cook, clean, get up early to make his coffe before work, raise kids, take orders from him, earn a paycheck so that he can buy himself more stuff. I just don't know. I really see an end to this relationship very soon. I have tried, but I feel like I am losing myself, for a man that thinks I am nothing more than yesterday's trash.
Over the years, he has slowly managed to isolate me from everyone but him and the children. I have nobody left. That, of course, is my fault. I allowed it to happen. I allowed myself to be swallowed up by his wants and needs.
lepfan1 lepfan1 36-40 Nov 30, 2012

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