thank you for your respond. you are the first person that i dont know ever talk to me. i know everything you said is right, but i still can not understand why people will treat other like this. we married for 28 years, all of this for nothing? after divorce i am doing ok but lost interest on almost everything, i do not believe in people,do not want to talk to friend about this. because most people will think i am not normal and i should be act like a normal people. but i really do not believe everything that i used to believe. i used to stay at home for the past 28 years, now i need to take care of everything by myself, for that i don't even know how to do it. even for computer, i got my own computer only few weeks ago and don't even know how to use it. every dayi need to deal lots of new staffs that i don't even sure i can handle or not. my mom used to tell me don't just stay at home, now i undersatand, but i can't change the past 28 years. anyway thank you starfishsue, you light up my Chrismas day. Thanks.