Not Sure What To Do.

I am in a tough situation because at this point I am so dependent upon my husband. I left a good job to go back to school to become a nurse and at this point, I have no money coming in that's technically my own. My husband is amazing and wonderful until he drinks too much. I gave him an ultimatum two months ago, but since tonight he has broken his promise to be to limit his amount of alchohol to 2 drinks. When he is drinking he is so verbally abusive that I just want to scream to dround out the pain of his words. It's so overwhelming to me and it hurts me so bad. Tonight I was driving us home from a sporting went that we attented with friends. He was so angry with me that I "embarrassed"him in front of his friends when I was getting upset with Him be ause of his drinking, that he grabbed the steering wheel of our car and tried to swerve the wheel to scare me. I know this marriage is abusive. I know I don't deserve this, nor shall I tolerate it, but I am so frightened that I will never have children or be able to achieve the goals I have envisioned for myself if I leave. I keep telling myself to just stick it out for 2 more years and then I can get out of it, but I am going crazy.
Lisamaureen82 Lisamaureen82
26-30, F
3 Responses Dec 30, 2012

I feel very bad for you. I suggest not going into debt if you go to school so if anything happens you are at least not on the negative side of the scale. If you have kids, put them in great consideration. My parents divorced and nothing good came out of it but in this case it is up to you: What do you think is best for both of you?
Also think about therapy for your partner. Good luck! Hope things get better for you!

Lisa, only you can make the right decision. But this was me 12 years ago, exactly to the T. Same situation. Another time, he was so drunk he raped me. It too violent, because i just quit fighting him off and let him. He stopped drinking for a bit after that and I forgave him. But we have had a few more episodes. Fast forward to present and over 15 years of marriage. It's lonely and empty, I was slowly dying inside. Became a walking empty shell. With nothing left to give and 6 kids later, I find myself still scared and not knowing what the future holds. He threatens to leave every week. How will I support my kids now? I started to self destruct, and completely let go of myself. That was the only thing I could control. Up until 6 months ago, when I decided to take back my life did I find joy and happiness. But I could easily fall into the trap of anger and bitterness. Things won't change, I thought they would. And they did for a bit, but always short lived. Hugs to you Lisa!!

No woman should take this from a man. If he does this you should either get him help, or leave him. You seem so nice and you shouldn't have to take this from anyone! Please take my advice, and I pray you use it.