Pregnant And Miserable With A Husband Who Hates Me.

I'm 6 months pregnant and I also have a 2 year old and 8 month old. I've been with my husband for 9 years (married for 5 years). With each pregnancy he has become more hateful. With my second pregnancy he became physically abusive until I physically looked pregnant. He had to be forced to help with the labor and wouldn't stay at the hospital with me despite me having several complications and being in a lot of pain. Now, with my third pregnancy I'm having even more complications. My husband doesn't help me with our kids and expects me to be able to perform all the physical tasks of a nonpregnant person. My bday just passed and he told me in an argument that he hopes I die during labor and that I'm a fat disgusting pig. He completely ignored me for the entire day despite how depressed he saw I was. He refuses to see what he does is not right and I'm ready to leave him. I don't have a solid enough income to be on my own or family or friends to stay with. Has anyone else been in this position? Do you have any tips on how I can get out now before I am any further in my pregnancy and moving will be virtually impossible? Mentally I can't take it anymore! I can tell that it's making me physically ill and I'm scared my stress is affecting my unborn baby at this point. Please, any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
An Ep User An EP User
4 Responses Jan 22, 2013

May your husband is upset about the previous babies and does not know how to express him self. You have two choices talk to him about fixing it marrige counseling (I strongly recommend you fix it it might not work automatically but it will eventually.) or just get a divorce

Please, get out, as soon as you can. It will only get worse. FInd a women's abuse organization, ask friends, family, a pastor, but get out. Get an attorney, change the locks, protect yourself. You deserve so much more, and so do you r children. Document everything, what he says and when, bruises, ask friends to back you up. I know it's frightening, be strong.

I am in a bad marriage too and have 4 kids. Ive been married 15 years. One thing I know now, something everyone says, but you ignore and ignore, as you dont wanna believe it'll happen to you. That is, that it usually wont get better. There will be times it'll go away, but people are creatures of habit, and revert back to their old ways. I am afraid to leave too. My husband put all finances in my name, and is in the middle of building a house in my name, and so on. I dont know how to sort it all out. Maybe you could stay with me..haha, you probably live so far away, but wish I could help. What I did today was to call 211, then ask them who to call, they gave me a number for a distress line where someone talked to me and was supportive. Dont give too much detail like kids names or ages or address as she told me depending shed have to call social services. I also am going to free counselling, through addictions and mental health services. Its paid thru the government and you get about 12 sessions. I dont have addictions, but I mentioned I have depression and so I qualified. The lady there is helping me focus on things other than my husband, but also slowly brainstorming a plan to leave ..just in case. ..I think you will feel more in control if you think like crazy, call everyone in the yellow pages you can think of for help, and have a detailed plan. Even have a bag packed, hidden away somewhere, so if one day it gets bad, you grab your bag, and start your plan, which you've already devised. Aside from the distress line and the free counselling, you can also start going to church. I dont know you so you may think Im crazy. But if you find a small friendly one, you will make friends who care, possibly they would offer to help you, and if none of the above..ALL churches offer free counselling to the people attending regularly, and you do NOT need to be a member. They may not announce theres free counselling, but if you ask, they'll offer. Hope all goes well. Good Luck!

I'm so sorry.. I don't have any way to help but I'm so sorry you're in this situation :( you deserve so much better!! Do you have family that can help you?