Is There Hope?
Being married for 25 years should feel like an achievement, but it doesn't - for me, at least. I feel like I have been alone in this marriage for more than half of those 25 years and yet, I still cannot decide if I want to stay or not. Maybe not deciding is the decision itself. My husband has had multiple affairs. Three years ago, we separated because of his affair. He came back and tried to work it out, but it has been stormy since then. He had a heart attack and a bypass two years ago. I dropped everything to be at his side. I take responsibility for everything in the family -decisions, finances, etc. Last month, he asked for space. He said we had been fighting too much. Yes, I fight with him and I fight bad. I don't mean to justify myself but that's because ever since he found a new job, a new set of friends, he has all but forgotten about the marriage and the family. We have not talked since Sept. 8. I don't know if I should just make a decision and move on or if there is any basis at all for me to hope that things will change. It feels like I have been waiting all my life for this man to realize the value of his family. I am embarassed that at this age, I am 43, and after 25 years of marriage, we still can't get our act together. I am led to think that maybe there is no hope for this marriage anymore.