I Have Fallen For The One I Shouldn't.

We met in March 2012. Right from the start things were better than amazing. We became an official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship in April. This relationship was utter perfection. He was incredibly sweet and honest and everything I had been looking for. I couldn't believe that I had finally found him. His friends and family were excited to see him so happy. He had said this was the best relationship he had ever had. We talked about the present, and the future. We had hopes and we had dreams Together. Then something happened. We ended up breaking up. He kept in contact with me, he was always the first to start the conversations. His best friend constantly asks him why he isn't dating me, especially when he knows I would do anything for him. A month passed by and we hadn't seen each other. Then he showed up at my house. We decided to occasionally see each other from that moment on. Things were good. Things are always good when we spend time together. I still have feelings for him. Apparently we are "Not an official couple but we're still seeing each other" (his words) We don't text as much, or talk as much for that matter. I really want to ask "Why are you keeping me around?" It's getting harder to write this story, I'm beginning to cry. I don't understand how someone can use another person. I feel like I am being used, I feel almost abused. I have fallen in love with this man. I know I have and that's why I can't let go. My heart is fully in it. I'm twisted and tangled and I need advice. I know I NEED to walk away but, I know I WON'T. ... Not yet at least.
FallenForTheIdiotInUniform FallenForTheIdiotInUniform
22-25, F
4 Responses Nov 27, 2012

The great guy who doesn’t want to be your committed boyfriend or husband is USELESS as a boyfriend or husband.

I think that you could get him back if you set some limits. I have a philosophy called "Do the opposite." When he comes around do you feel like you should see him? Then do the opposite! You are basically going to have to play hard to get for a while. Tell him you just want to be friends for a while and stick to it. Don't give up your golden ticket. I would not have sex with him for at least four months, maybe longer.

What happened that broke you up ?

He had been single for a while before we met. He said he wasn't able to find anyone he really wanted to spend time with. We broke up because he said he was starting to feel weird about being in a relationship.. felt weird having to constantly talk to someone or see how they were. Funny thing is, I gave him any freedom he wanted. .. and he knows that. Which is why his best friend at home asks him about us breaking up because he knew I gave him freedom. So we broke up because he felt that he wasn't a good bf. Because he wanted to go to the gym or work on his car and have his alone time. I ultimately agreed to the break up because I was confused about it. I spoke to his mom when I saw her recently and she told me that she thinks he became afraid of our relationship .. that for once it was actually working for him.

I see how he is. I've recently been in a situation where the guy pulled far away from me as well. I'm trying to let go for good now - still not easy.
Its unfair when someone becomes part of your life then decides for two people what is best. I will always think thats complete bs.

It is complete bs! Especially because he was the one that wanted to end it yet will still continue to crawl back to me ... he's making it difficult for me to let go. Is it getting any easier for you to let go? Do you still talk or see each other?

we talk and occasionally see each other but its not like it was. Id give anything to get back what we had too. now I just want to let go but I think of him a lot.. stuff reminds me of him and I wonder how someone can be so in your life and consciously just leave - how do they think like that ?

It's all about selfishness. It's about being their own person yet getting what they want from another person. I'm finding out that people think it does no harm to another person to be that way. To want to be alone but, the moment they feel like companionship they call one person and hope that they still have that hold over you to go to them at their beckoning call. I feel like to some extent it is about control. I don't understand how someone can do that to another person either. Do you think if you keep talking and eventually he brings something up about starting to try things again you would say yes to him? Or would you still want to let go?

I need to let go because we can go nowhere at this point. Its just hard.

3 More Responses

Your instincts are on the money. He is using you until someone else comes along. Most people are ex's for a reason and remembering this may help you get over him. I had this happen with my first fiance years ago and it does hurt but after telling him that this wasn't working for me I was able to go out and meet someone who was and wanted to be with me officially. Good luck