The Last Straw

First off, let me say that I am not blinded by a false concept of true love. I've been through hell and back in previous relationships. Now I'm with someone who seems to be secure in every way. Confident, in a great family, very humble guy. I'm so happy with him but we're so different it can cause us to butt heads a lot.

We both have our flaws, yes. But I think mine are more damaging to our relationship. I have a LOT of pride. He decided to break up with me, and he did. But I wouldn't let him. I've never given up without a fight and I couldn't let him go unless he could tell me straight up that he doesn't love me anymore. He said he couldn't. So I couldn't stop begging and pleading that he let me have one more chance. After 2 hours of constant crying, convincing, sobbing, and straight patheticism (yes, I know that's not a word), he gave in and said we would try again. But this is the last straw, which I asked he give me. And he did.

Now, it's awkward. Though we're on good terms and are getting along, it's just hard to go back to the way things were, how much easier things were in the past. Though our relationship has been a roller coaster since day 1.

I just want things to go back to the way they were. He can't even tell me he loves me right now after all this craziness. I don't blame him because things are just so uncomfortable and awkward right now. But I just miss it. I hope it doesn't take too long til we can be normal again.

I need to be more humble. I need to be more patient. I need to be more understanding. I need to stop being so selfish and spoiled. I need to grow up and be an adult and take responsibility for my actions. I need to swallow my pride 100%. It's going to be hard but I need this. I need this to be happy.

That's all. Sigh.
jetaimeh jetaimeh
22-25, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

Friend, you don't need this to be happy. Begging and pleading to someone who wants to leave you sometimes work but it usually backfires. If you two are meant together, you will be together. I believe based on your writing that you need to find happiness within yourself.Know and love yourself more 100% then and only then you'll be happy sharing it with someone.