We'll Become Friends With Benefits?

I've just to share some odd thoughts with my girlfriend. She thinks that our relationship is leading to some sort of "friends with benefits" agreement although she loves me. I don't think she makes any sense by saying that, but that's beyond the point. The point is: She thinks this relationship is soon going to be only there for sex and she can't stand it anymore.

Now the problem is: We loeve each other and this is just her "feeling". I can't do anything against her "feeling". I could stop having sex with her. But she says that this would mean we're going back on an earlier level that wasn't good. Keeping it up means she's going to feel bad about the fact that we're now finally leading a normal relationship with love and sex which is usually quite hard for me cause I tend to think in terms like "relationship without sex" or "sex without relationship".

So actually we do love each other but because she FEELS something strange it means that we have to break up? If we'll be friends with benefits but on top of that love each other we'd lead a normal relationship. But she says that this is what she can't relate to.

I don't know how to act!!! Feels like this whole relationship is doomed to fail from now on!

GothGrrrl GothGrrrl
18-21, F
5 Responses Jul 19, 2007

Well I don't know too many people who can just have sex and not have any feelings attached to it, especially since the words I love you were already spoken...you didn't mention how long you have been together, I think in this case that matters, there must be something going on with her in order for her to say she just wants you as a friend with benefits but still loves you ! I think if you continue down this path without an understanding in place it will lead to heartache ! Time to have a heart to heart and decide if this is the right situation for you and if you are not comfortable with how that conversation goes it may be time to go your separate ways ! Good Luck to you !

Just ease up on the sex? Spend more time together doing other things... and still have sex, just not as much to where she thinks it's all about the sex...

Both of you need to give and take, to me neither of you making sense. PM me if you wish and let's talk, something is not clear in your story. Wish you all the best so both of you can be happy.

It does sounds really complicated. Its hard to have a sexual relationship with out committment and love. Always feels empty in the end.

That's how women are, they get weird thoughts in their head and never let go of them.