Am I Being Used?
My relationship right now is the most complicated one i've ever been in. I was in a relationship for four years with a wonderful girl. We were engaged, had our own place and were doing wonderful. A year ago, she left, just one day broke it off and got into a relationship that same week with a guy i'd met for friendship online. I still sort of blame myself for that one as I'm the one who introduced them. He's treated her like hell, ditching her, threatening to leave her on the side of the road, calling her names and as I found out, putting me down.
There is alot more too it, so so much that i've gone through this last year and put up with, but still I can't seem to stay away from her. About three months ago, she apologized for everything that happened and we talked. We'd already stayed friends somehow after she'd left and she said that she missed me and still loved me and realized what she'd left. However, through the entire time, she'd changed into someone that I felt I didn't know any more. She'd started sleeping around because her new boyfriend had told her it was okay, she almost lost her religion because he said it wasn't real, he's twisted her mind so now she's got a very pessamistic view on things and she treats the world like it's a joke and nothing will ever get better. However, i've been determined to stay around her, to take care of her and try and help her see the good in life.
So, we got back into a relationship of sorts, starting out just dating and easy. Its to the point now where we hardly spend a day without each other if I don't work and never spend the night apart, almost like it was, however, it's so much more complicated.
She's still with him. She's said over and over how she's breaking up with him and now he's moving to another state, somewhere around a three day drive away, which is good for me, but she's still technically with him.
I don't know how to trust her and I suppose i'm partially to blame because I've looked on her phone before and seen that she's lied to me. She says she's told him when he moves it's over and she won't let me pawn my wedding ring we'd bought because she says she still thinks we'll be together forever, but at the same time tells me that if I find someone she'll be fine with it and she'll have no problem moving past it. I'm never really sure what to think. She talks to him constantly and tells him she loves him, I know she hasn't really told him they are breaking up, I can feel it and i'm not sure she will break up with him.
I don't want to be in a relationship with her when he leaves and have her sneaking around behind my back talking to him and calling him baby and planning to fly out to see him or him thinking they are sticking together. I just don't know what to do. I want her, but I don't want this and it's so utterly complicated because she's always there.
On top of it, she's supposed to move into a house with me and some of our friends as our group is a very tight knit group, so it's almost impossible to get away from her. I feel like I can't trust her at all anymore and she's not giving me any reason to trust her now. I don't know whether to just leave and move on and let everyone else deal with me not being there in the house or to give her an ultimatum or what. It drives me crazy and makes my head spin. HELP!