Just Let Me Breath...
he checked my phone randomly, my emails, ym, twitter (acc that he know, ahemm not 4 EP ), choose my friends,commented how do I look (its mean if I need to change clothes or cut my hair, he once burned my t shirt that he thought make me look like drag queen coz have blink, it was designer's and xpensive! ) if I go out with my friends (that he think will not bring me to some gay club) he will texted me or called me to check if I wasnt drunk enough to do fool thing (if I drunk he will pick me out), he let some of my friends to spend night or playing in my room (but he will keep the key), I have no gay friends, can't talk to gay or bi guy, everything with girls is okey (as long as I dont make that serious relation)
I dont blame him to do so, part of that maybe bc of my fault too, I have cheated him, I flirt everywhere (like he said that I try to spread charm and giving everyone hope) I've been in drugs (thats what I think make him choose my friend) and I always act fool when I drunk or high, we 've been in hard time b4, it was more like abusive relation in past, mentall and physically, we fights alot and that mean not only yelled each other yes we used physical violence that will terrified person who seen that, I was runaway from him try to have new life and enjoy my freedom, only lasted almost a year, I miss him like hell and I broke his heart, I did many things during the year include drugs and sleeping pills, then I have to deal with my not stable emotion and depression alone, when we finally meet I was pressed by problems and all the fear I have become one, I loss my mind and comitted suicide, he was there and safe me
now since we back 2gether we have to repaired few things, we both know that we cant just separated and moved on (we have a very difficult based of relationship that I cannot explain) now we just tried not to hurt each other, I try my best not to light the fire, sometimes I missed one or two spots, we still argued alot but we manage to reduce anger b4 it become a violence fight, he still breaking things sometimes (once I was locked my own room when upset and dont let him in and he kicked the door like crazy), I hope he will become better, now as seems he trust me more to handle big things, not treat me like I am 15 yo anymore, still checked my phone, lappy, and other but am okey with that, I know he tried hard to handle his emotional act, his jealousy things, I know he loves me and I will never found love that bigger than his besides those character (jealous and possesive) he is the best partner that know me very well, and understand all I need (I have many disabilities in emotional and physical), and he always there for me, he said that no thing in world fear him besides of loosing me, I dont hope much I just want to breath, bc sometime this love like choking me ^ ^