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The Perfect Relationship

I'm very proud of how far we've come. My wife and I are very different from each other. I'm liberal and she's conservative. I like it wild and she likes to keep thing a little more mild. For that matter I'm the kinda guy you go to a party with and have a few drinks and she's the kinda girl you sit home a watch a romantic comedy with. We have four going on five kids, the house with the white picket fence, and are living the American Dream. So how did we end up like this?

When I was young I got engaged to the wrong woman. I still wanted to party at 18 duh who wouldn't. She an I fought to no end. Eventually I came home to an empty apartment and an empty bank account. I had a broken heart. I told myself I'd never let another woman into my life. It took five years before I let another woman have a chance to be with me. I met my wife in a club. She was sitting quietly off to the side of the dance floor sipping on some drink. I approached her with a "We've met before angle" Cheesy right?? We met a couple more times at the club after that. I wasn't about to let any girl in my heart so I said I wanted to take her out but I didn't want her to think she was going to the the only girl I going to date. I snuffed that right out. During our date I told her communication was the key to a relationship. My wife's mom called me over for a "talk". Where she told me sex before marriage was unacceptable. Of course one thing led to another after that and she got pregnant regardless of what mom said (to be young and dumb). That part that I left out is she is very religious and we weren't married at that point. I continued to see her however her family immediately got in the way every time. I'm convinced that they tried to separate us. I began to wonder if this girl was worth it. The whole time we worked together and talked about everything how we felt, what we wanted, and how we were going to get there. I stuck around because I had fallen in love with her.. The harder the family pressed the more my wife and I talked about how we could keep things together. We felt unstoppable. Then it happened we were challenged even more we lost our first born. It tore right tough our hearts. Again we set out to talk about it how it hurt and how we wanted to stay together. As time went by I began to act less like a party guy and more like a family guy as did she. However; things have come full circle for me while she is still in family mode I'm beginning to feel the pinch of family life and long for the party days. Over the past few years I've made friends and partied while telling my wife everything. Eventually we came to the conclusion that we needed to find a perfect way to stay together. So we compromised once in a while I get to be the wild free guy(sexually as well) and she gets an honest loving husband. The result of this is that if either of us feels the urge to stray from one another we talk about it and it may mean she and I do stuff with others(swinging). When it comes to financial situations she usually lets me handle the big stuff like houses and cars and I hand her the credit card for everything else. I make the money and she takes care of the kids. We could switch but at this point I have more education so I would make more.

Do you think this is a prefect relationship? Is communication really the key? We've been together for 10 years and are happy.
heartlesswolf2 heartlesswolf2 31-35 5 Responses Jul 28, 2012

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Sounds like a good relationship so far, I agree communication is most important. Have fun if you go swinging!

Wow.. Your relationship sounds perfectly fine for both of you. Each relationship is unique and its good that both of you understand each other.

It may work or not. Beware of ths swinging scene if your wife is of the serious type She has to be disconnected from the love scenario before she makes love with some other man. Communication is paramount anyway but beware of her possible reactions.

You might be right but we've been married for 10 yrs now and have seen friends in the other types of relationships failing. I think its because we can talk about anything on our minds without worrying about the other getting upset.

A good communication between you will probably avoid any pitfall. Having been married for 10 years helps. Do you have kids ?

Hell ya, this is communicating and compromising. We are creatures with needs that one person cant fulfill. We can love just one but lust others for self preservation. Both sides need the attention they receive from others that they are attracted to. Enjoy your time together, no matter how you do it to stay together. There is no right or wrong way to have a healthly and happy relationship, whatever works for the people invovled.

if it works for you two, it's perfect....and yeah, talking honestly with each other is the main thing...that and mutual respect...