Hurts

For the longest time i didn't believe in love. To me it was a four letter word, i actually looked at people who thought they were in love and laughed. I just thought that eventually, your infatuation with someone would go away. Then you either start to lie to each other and cheat or lie to yourself and you both end up miserable. But that was me, i worked and hung out with family. I got bored one day and decided to go on PS3 home and fool around, threw a weird circumstance i meet a girl named Liz. She said she liked my pic and told me where her my space was and omg, this girl was amazing. I felt so stupid....all that hatting love ****...and i was falling in love. She had everything about a woman i wanted, little things that reminded me of a whole bunch of different girls i had a crush on throughout my life. I cracked my knuckles and started typing away...lol. I had to put some work into getting to know her, she was beautiful. Turns out me and her just hit it off....and we were on cam txting each other all night and day. Things got sexy and we found out we had something else in common...were both pervs..lol. When i woke up the next day...i don't know how to explain it, i was just walking on air. Its so silly, a girl 1000 miles away could make me fall like that. I knew it then that i was in love with her, and that i had to keep trying for her. After a week or so, she also told m that she loved me and we hooked up....i stayed with her all day and night , leaving my cam on and sleeping together. We both made promises to each other that were soulmates and that we were meant for one another. after about 4 months i decided i was going to send her a surprise..we had a thing about who's gonna move where,,,lol so i wanted to send her seashells...and a letter....so i went to the beach and spent a whole day finding some really good ones ...the whole time ..my brothers picking on me. I got home and kept talking to my baby.....i love this woman....by this time we've shared everything with each other, we were really like a real couple. For some reason i got curious one day, and i checked her mail. I know that's lame but i had to see if she was really in love with me. I didn't see anything , but then i checked her deleted mail and inside was a whole convo to a 40y guy talking about paying for naked pics...i coulda died right then, it was like someone dropped a elephant on my chest. she was on came with me when i made this discovery...so i couldn't make it to obvious....i asked her "do you love me?"...and she said" yes baby of course" i asked her if she was sure,,,and she said yes...then i copied and pasted ..copied and pasted the convo to her..i could see her face change, and she said something to me that hurt worse than anything....."you found my dirty little secret" ...i was falling...i felt like i was gonna die...it hurt so bad..all this time ...watching movies laughing and crying together...sleeping together all of this time and shes selling naked pics to ppl. i remember looking down at my box of shells...i coulda said "surprise!" in my head lol.....Ive never hurt like that b4....i couldn't believe it.....so after a whole lot of crying and hating and loving and crying and drama...we decide we still love each other....and i try to put it behind me.....so a whole yr goes by...just like b4 everyday I'm on my PC with my cam on. I love her so much....i want to go there she tells me shes gonna come here...were getting serious...I'm so happy... the day b4 yesterday i got on and spent the whole morning with her...we made love and talked for hrs like we always do...she said she had to go...and told me she loved me......i waited while she was gone and then felt weird about leaving my cam on hen she wasn't there so i left. I went in my brothers room and we watched movies and hung out.then the next day i get on with her and instantly i can tell something is wrong...shes leaving me a message that says shes leaving me.......i send her a message and she says shes still mine and she was just mad. i love her so much don't scare me like that!..lol we talk for a while and i can tell something isn't right. I go onto her phones website and checked her picture mail....then i notice she ha 4 numbers blocked. I asked her why she blocked those numbers...she said she had talked to some ppl ...but there stupid..i asked what she did and she said nothing...so i told her i was gonna call all of the numbers to find out what was going on...that's when she told me that she had called a guy and had phone sex with him. i cant believe.....not again baby......I'm destroyed....i tried to leave her...i tried to disappear....i started to delete everything about me....and i got to her myspace...and i saw her face..and the same pics i saw a yr ago.....and it broke my heart...i cried like a 3yr old girl...so i took her back and we kinda just forgot about it. but today I'm talking to her....and the thought slips in my head and i coulda collapsed to my knees. it hurts so bad...it wasn't 5hrs after she looked into my eyes and told me she loved me and kissed me that she was moaning and sending naked pics to some complete stranger...every time i think about it my heart breaks....a whole year, and i know that were only on cam..but we've spent more time together than most married couples, and we definitely are more intimate. so now I'm just sitting here crushed, destroyed, hurt, everything... shes all i have..i love her so much ..i wanted to have a family with her,a future

 

deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Jul 21, 2010

She's evil... your really awesome guy any girl would be lucky to have you... she should go jump off a bridge for being so stupid... i hear thats in nowadays... she doesnt deserve you...