Study Abroad

I'm a sophomore in college. Next year when I am a junior, pretty much all of my friends will be gone on study abroad programs. My boyfriend of almost 2 years will hopefully be going to school a little closer to me than where he is now next year, so it could be the end of the long distance phase of our relationship. I have thought about studying abroad, but I am not sure where I would like to go. I am also worried about the effect that this would have on my relationship. All of my friends and family think I'm being dumb and that I should just go abroad because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to travel and experience another culture. On one hand I know they're right, but on the other hand I know I'll miss my boyfriend a lot and I don't want to mess things up for us. I don't want to make it sound like he's the only thing holding me back - I have some other reservations (cost, etc) and he has been very supportive of whatever I want to do. I'm just not sure and I only have a month or so to decide. Help!
sarahplalala sarahplalala
5 Responses Nov 14, 2010

Hey!<br />
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I am actually abroad right now. When I first starting seriously looking into studying abroad, my boyfriend and I had only been together for about 2 months or so. By time I left, it had just passed the one year mark. He knew it was something I wanted to do, and was always extremely supportive. Before I left, we had a discussion. We didn't want to break up just because I was leaving BUT we did consider a few things: If we feel that our relationship really isn't going to last over the next 4 months, let's call it quits now to save more heartbreak later. If we truly feel it's gonna be alright, then yeah, we will stay together.<br />
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Here I am just 11 days from returning to the States, and it has been INCREDIBLE. Study abroad is an experience of a lifetime, you should do it if you're thinking about it! I have experienced so many things that many people may never. Our relationship? I couldn't be happier to see him waiting for me at that airport in 11 days :) Yes, I've missed him a lot at times, but I've been so busy (and so has he with classes, work, and hockey), that the time has passed way faster than I could have imagined. He has also been wonderful through this whole experience. If I was ever sad because I missed him, he would say, "Baby, you're in Spain, you CAN'T be sad--this you only get once, you will see me soon enough". He always was awesome at keeping my spirits up if I missed him or was homesick in general :)<br />
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So if it were my advice, don't even factor your relationship into going abroad, make that decision on your own. Then AFTER you've decided if studying abroad is really what you want, then and only then decide if it's worth it to stay together or go your separate ways. And money is NOT an excuse (sorry to sound rude, but my family doesn't have very much money and here I am! Grants, scholarships, loans and working a lil over the summer does the trick!). I hope you make the right decision, but if you do go abroad, I promise you won't regret it!

Hi Sarah! <br />
My boyfriend of two years went abroad for an internship in africa and after only 2 months he was already doubting our relationship and after 3 months he broke up with me. Two weeks later we were back together again because he regretted his decision, but we are on a break now until he returns.<br />
The reason for his doubts were the total new environment and nothing reminding him of me there. He said that he misses me, but not as much as he had expected. This news was ofcourse terrible for me to hear and I feel very unconfortable with this situation. If I had known this before he had left, I would not have supported this idea for I am sure there would not be any problems between us if he was still living close to me and if we could see eachother frequently. He is coming home in 3 weeks. I won't go to the airport to pick him up nor will we spend christmas together. I feel terrible about it. I don't know how our story will end. Going abroad puts an immense stress on your relationship. People always say it's romantic to be apart for a while, that it makes your relationship stronger. From my experience there is absolutely nothing romantic about each being on another hemisphere. And ofcourse, you'll meet somebody else blablabla. Think about it. Sometimes you just have to be satisfied with wat you have instead of always wanting more.

could you go abroad spring semester? that way it gives you extra time to pick a place that will be the best for you to study and you get a full semester closer to your boyfriend to see where your relationship goes. Long distance CAN be done during study abroad. Many of my friends do it. Remember, a semester is only 3.5 months and it's a special opportunity to go abroad with few springs attached.

I think you should do what is best for you and your future, relationships come and go! your career can never wake-up one morning and say it doesn't love you anymore but a man will!remember this girlfriend!!!!!!best of luck!

I think that your relatives are right. Maybe it will be the only opportunity you will have to go and study abroad. And your boyfriend, when he is supportive as you said, will accept that and help you. If your love is true one, it will stand all the distance, so you don´t have to worry.<br />
Of course, it will be very painful and hard, but think, you will experience so many things abroad, you will grow, not only for you, but also for you both. And how many stories you will have to tell him after you come back!<br />
Well, these are my thoughts. A friend of mine who is married for one year, she will go to study abroad too soon for the whole year, and both of them, her and her husband are happy about it because it is a really good chance.<br />
It is your life, first of all you have to know what do YOU want, not the others. what is good FOR you. And you won´t be alone. Your boyfriend, your family and EP will shurely help you to go thru all this don´t matter how you decide in the end=)<br />
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Wish you all luck!