I Made A Mistake And Now I'm Hopelessly ConcernedTechnically speaking, this all began in high school, when I was a junior, age 16. It took place late December of 2003 to early January of 2004. I met an "interesting" man in science class and I developed a crush on him. I eventually got around to admitting it to him and it turns out, he had a crush on me as well. So a couple of weeks after we both confessed, we argued about it for a little while and soon agreed on dating eachother, only for "the heck of it". To both our surprise, we haven't broken up since then, 7/8 years later!
Now here's when my REAL story begins. It all started a year and a half ago...before our relationship became long distance. My love interest took me to the park again for a walk, when he all of a sudden asks me if I wanted to go on a vacation with him to London. To my surprise, he says he has not two, but THREE airplane tickets to London! (2500+ miles away from home) He explained to me a CLOSE friend of his bought tickets for him (a reward for their friendship) so we could have our own romantic 'vacation' together, and have a good time with our friend too for 5 to 9 months. Unfortunately, however...after thinking it over, I painfully rejected his offer. Now please understand, I already had a part time job of my own (unlike him) and in this economy, I didn't want to lose what I worked so hard to earn just to repeat the whole aggravating process again. Even today, I'm still struggling to pay all the bills, with the house I'm living in. And I'm CERTAIN my employer, as kind as he is, isn't that forgiving.
My boyfriend didn't take my response too well, as expected. I felt absolute sorrow for him, almost bursting into tears. He then told me that I was making such a big mistake, further explaining in details how excruciating that would be without my company, how lonely I would be without him, and asked me if my career was more important to me than him. I immediately felt insulted and out of anger asked him why pleasing his friend was more important to him than staying here with me. We proceeded to argue in a foolish 'discussion' that lasted for what seemed like an hours and after that...well, it's all one big blur...The last thing that happened on the fateful afternoon was him storming out the gates; abrupting leaving me and rushing to the airport to get to his flight.(Like the sensitive person he is) His last words being: "I'm sorry, I'll call you later, when I get over this..."
It's been 14 months now, to be accurate...5 more months than promised, and he still hasn't returned from his 'vacation'. All except for several text messages every month or two, I've barely gotten any updates. I've asked him countless questions and he always avoids them by changing the subject. As if he's trying to hide something from me, and he probably is...And if that's not enough to worry about, that friend of his...is a...female...Perhaps his friend convinced him into thinking otherwise, no clue. I don't know what to do...and I keep thinking it's all my fault that this all happened. My fault he changed. My fault his feelings got hurt....I wish I could've done something beforehand...I really do trust he isn't cheating and IS only having a good time, getting carried away...then again, I could be in denial. This is my first relationship...I've never had my heart broken before, and I likely refuse to accept it. This is also my first experience in a long distance relationship, and I do hope for the best...even if he is cheating or doesn't want me anymore, I just want him to return...I only seek the truth now, more than anything. Wish me luck.
Exceedingbeyondscientifically 22-25, F 29 Responses 1 Aug 8, 2011