6 Years

I've been in this kind of relationship for 6 years now. We had mutual feelings since we were in 4th year high school. It started then but I warned him that it'll be hard to continue since I am going to another city for college that year. I told him to forget about me and meet other girls even though I really liked him. But, he told me that he doesn't want to and that I'm the one he loves and he's willing to wait for me. I told him before that we can be officially be together as a couple after college since my parents are strict. Still he told me that he could wait. And so I moved away from my hometown. We exchanged text messages everyday. I hid it from my parents but then they found out and grounded me. I told him that I can't text him anymore and he must do so too. It was painful for the both of us. We didn't text each other for about two or three months but he misscalls me everyday. He was really sweet. Well, after 3 months I talked to my mom about it and she allowed me to text with him again. Since then, we communicate each other throug texts. We also played an online game, Ragnarok, together during free times. We see each other during the school's vacation breaks when I go back to my hometown. We go on dates, he visits me in my home. During 3rd year college, he told me that he will be taking the entrance exam for medicine in the city where I was. He said that he wantes to be a doctor. And so, because of that, I decided to take the entrance exam as well.
The entrance exam to medicine was given when we were in 4th year. We took the test the same time at the same room. He was depressed after the exam because he wasn't able to finish it. I tried to comfort him but he said that I don't understand because I finished the exam and he didn't. I felt really bad back then because it was the only time after a long time that we were able to see each other again and I can't do anything to make him smile. When we were going to part ways, I can't help but cry. He saw me and theb he invited me to eat. Then he asked me if I can be his girlfriend, I agreed. That day turned to be the happiest moment in my life. However, he still has to go back. He did but I anticipated the day that he will study in the city where I am in. College was over and here goes postgraduate studies - medicine. He was accepted in a university 30minutes away from the univ I entered. Even though we're not on the same univ, it was ok since I can see him often than before. I go to his place and we go on dates every weekend. I was really happy. But then, he told me he was not, not because of me but because of the course medicine and living far from his home. He said that he wants to drop his subjects and he wants to go back. I supported him even thoug it was really painful for me. It really was. I can't quit this even if he did. My parents wanted me to take medicine. And so he left, I saw him off. Before we parted he told me to come with him back to our hometown. I thought of it. But then, a lot of things are already intertwined. What will my parents and other people say if I do that? Will I be truly happy if I did? Will he be truly happy if I did? Andmy answer was no. And so I stayed. It was one of the mist depressing days of my life. It was so painful, I was so bitter. It took me a year to fully recover without grudge and bitterness over that. We still texted each other everyday by the way. I also told him how I felt and he said sorry. I love him. Now I am in the 3rd year of medicine. Sometimes I don't know how I feel about this. I long for him. I long to be with him ever since. It's six years already. We do plan of getting married someday, but it's still a long way though. I have to finish a lot of courses in order to become a doctor. What makes me a bit sad now is the place where we will stay if ever we get married. I think I like to live here, but he likes to live there. Do I have to be the one who should make another sacrifice? Or am I just being too selfish?
Even if it's already 6 years, I never get used to it. The pains, longing and sadness are still here. Of course, there are always happy times. I'm happy to be loved by him even if he doesn't see me always.
thecoke thecoke
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 13, 2011

How are you two lasting now? My LDR is going to be at least 6 years long and im terrified