It Is Only The Beginning

Today is our anniversary. We are thousands of miles away from each other. For the last few days, I have been crying myself to sleep thinking I wouldn't be with him for this day. We usually made this anniversary weekend special and all I can think of is I wouldn't be there this time around to celebrate it with him. I think about all the other holidays I would be missing. This is just the first among I don't know how many. I don't know yet when I can be there with him again.

It's also difficult to think about how things are so vastly different now compared to how they were exactly a year ago. I was with him back then. I was able to touch him. Now I can't and today I feel the pain of longing more than most days. We talk on Skype and while I am happy to spend time with him, I think back to a year ago and I wish we could spend this day together once again. I know I should just be happy with what I have now, that we are still together in spirit now but all I do is reminisce and it hurts.
lostinpages lostinpages
22-25, F
1 Response Sep 1, 2012

I feel you. Although it's only been 10 days for me, I hurt not being able to physically touch him. I love him completely, but I want to be with him to show him that. It will be okay. : )

It has been around 2 weeks for me. I am hoping it will get easier. I had a dream that I was on the plane to see him 2 nights ago.