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8500 Miles Away

We first met and dated in a foreign country twenty years ago as students and we were in our early 20's. We were still young so we never really discussed of any future. We parted ways, but we wrote each other a couple of times until we lost touch. It was never going to work out since we were 8500 miles away.

Four years ago I decided to sign up in one of the social networking sites out of "pressure" from friends which I did. I didn't know I can find old friends and acquaintances, so I thought of looking for him. Didn't find him there but saw a familiar face and last name that could be his brother. It took me a year before I decided to leave a message to ask if they were related. I received a reply with his email address and was told to write to him. When I did, I got an email the day after and he was very excited to hear from me again. I was surprised to learn that he never got married and neither have I. I was so excited and felt like I was in my 20's again! =) We started to exchange emails and talk on the phone a few times. We were happy that we got in touch again. After a year, I decided to fly 8500 miles to see him and he was there waiting for me at the airport. I was nervous and worried, but when we saw each other it was like magic! We were so happy to see each other. Too bad I can't stay long so we had to part ways again. He said to me the night before I left, "I will not say good bye to you, because this is not good bye." I still felt sad because I was going home...

The following summer I went back to see him and again we enjoyed each others company. You know what's wrong? We never talked about what will happen to us, so I went home and again he said, "I will not say good bye to you because this is not good bye."

I already flew to see him twice and it made me think if he really cared for me.   I was very open with my feelings for him, but he seemed so confused.  He said he has so many things in his mind like trying to sell his apartment, his work etc.  I thought I was going to lose him since he suddenly stopped communicating with me.   Early this year, I received an email from him and he was so excited to share with me that he was already able to sell his apartment and he was able to find a house.  He suddenly suggested that we see each other again but I told him I can't since my passport was due to expire.  I was surprised when he said he was coming!  I was so excited and like any normal woman what do you think was on my mind????? 

When he came two months ago, we had a talk and I was very honest with my feelings,  but he was not ready...he said the time he said "I love You", his ex-gf turned into an "alien".  Tell me what that means.....I asked him why did you come here?  He said I want to see you and to be with you....he said I am the last person he will hurt......but why am I alone again? Why do I feel so empty? When I drove him to the aiport he said to me again, "I will not say good bye to you...."

We are back in exchanging emails, but this time I only reply when he writes....What am I doing? Am I doing the right thing? All I know I already opened my heart to him and all I can do is wait......or should I just go......
cabsauv cabsauv 41-45 3 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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Thank you for the words of encouragement! =) I'll do my best not to give up! =)

Don't give up on him. Marry him as soon as u can.

I think he has many issues which may be a big surpise for you if you move together. I say, don't give up on him. Take the initiative if you feel like it. Don't leave unfinished business with him. Be prepared to get hurt, but let it play out as it meant to be. This is not an accident, so listen to your heart!