This Is Hurting Me.

So I have been with my girlfriend for 8 months now, And I met her for the first time at our 3 month mark. After that meeting, being away from her wasnt that hard. t was kind of just the same as before we met. But two months later I went to see her again and I ended up staying about a month and a half. Leaving her almost killed me, I cried the few days before I left her(in front of her) and definatly on the train ride home and often since then. This last time has been sooo hard being away from her. I usually dont get all sad until I see a picture of her/us or when we skype together. And I feel bad for always being sad when we skype. I know Im going to stay with her, I am not giving up, EVER. She is so worth everything I am going through right now. I just want to know If anyone else is going through what I am, Can anyone offer my advice or tips. I need some positive things right now. Like stories of people going through this same thing. And why is it so different this time?
jandb320 jandb320
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 5, 2012

Okay, we both know I'm just about to experience something to this extent but I would like to give you advice as best I can. My girl and I have had sad pains because we weren't together-together, but what we do to help is keep our LDR fresh and honest. Whenever one of us is upset we video call each other and speak our minds about what's bothering us and then remind each other that our relationship is one that we've fought for. One that we risked a lot for and while the distance is hard, it won't last. Also, it helps if you keep each other prepccupied. Spice up your conversations. Play games together, watch a movie, ask random questions. Find things to do that'll bring her closer even while being far apart from her.

And keep in mind, army spouses deal with distance for months and years at a time. Theirs isn't by choice, but most make it work. If they can do it, you can! I have no doubt your relationship will prosper but don't over think the distance. That could break you. If you let it become your every thought when you're talking to her, it'll make the distance unbearable when the only thing you can do, right now is bear with it. Let the distance be what strengthens you.

im going thru the same thing with my girlfriend.....she lives about 100 miles away and we skype text and send pics to each other as much as we possibly can i have yet to actually meet her in person but its hard when there not there at that point and time when we need them the most.....i havent been able to get her to reply at all for the past 5 days and idk why

After months of being far from my husband, I have learned :
Being in a long distance relationship is never easy, but if you get some useful tips I am sure things can work out.

FOR WOMEN :

Be Honest and Open About What You Want

It's important to set some basic rules, so that there are no hidden feelings between you and your partner. Establish what kind of relationship you want from your partner. Have you two agreed on seeing other people or you are committed no matter what.

Avoid Judgments

One of the best relationship advice for women on understanding men is avoiding the path of assumption. Men sometimes need to be left alone. Unless and until you don't have the facts don't assume anything.

Avoid Excess Talking on the Phone/skype/chat

Some people believe that being in touch over the phone is the best way to stay in love. But sometimes it can really become a headache. Instead call your partner twice in a day and you will have more exciting stuff to talk about.

Be Patient

If you feel that your partner is getting more and more busy with his work and his calls have become less. Don't lose your mind. Instead, keep yourself busy with some other things. If this trend of less calling is continuing, talk to your partner about it and explain to him how it's making you uncomfortable. I'm sure he will understand.

Encouragement

The reason that keeps you two away from each other is obviously very important to either one of you. As a woman or a man learn to encourage your spouse for what he/she is doing. Nice and genuine loving words are enough to make anyone special. I guarantee that your spouse will take that extra step to make you feel special and help your relationship grow.


FOR MEN

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder" "Out of sight, out of mind"

Anything is possible when you are in a long distance relationship! Either you can come even more closer, cause you are missing each other so much or you may get so engrossed in your own separate lives, away from one another, that you start growing apart, day by day!

Call up Everyday!

Every man in a relationship should understand that women have an innate need to talk and share their feelings with their partner. It makes them feel closer and connected to their partners. So, make it a point to call up your woman every day. Ask her how she spend her day, what all things happened, what did she eat, what did she wear and all such nitty-gritty. Believe me, women love it when they get so much attention from their man.

Chat, Email and Stay Connected!

Now that the Internet is there offering you twenty four hours connectivity, anytime anywhere, you should no longer worry about how to stay in touch. Chat with your partner everyday, remain in constant touch through emails, plan dates through web cams, create a special "love blog" for your woman to woo her - there is no end to the things that you can do together online!

Be Honest and Sincere!

As maintaining trust in a long distance relationship can be difficult, so it is advised that you be completely honest with one another. If you are feeling lonely, tell it to your partner. If you ever feel like seeing someone else or are attracted to another person, tell it to your partner too. Do not create any kind of confusion or keep things back. By doing this, you and your partner can together arrive at solutions for the issues that you are facing. This will help in making your bond stronger.

Surprise Her

Romance is the lifeline of any relationship, even if you have been together for years. So, plan surprises for her once in a while. Land up unannounced at her place on her birthday or on your anniversary. Send her flowers out of the blue. Write a love letter for her everyday and then post them together one day. Such things can really spice up your relationship and will keep your partner's interest intact in you!

Sex it Up

The major drawback of a long distance relationship is that you and your partner will feel sexually unsatisfied as you are not there with one another physically. One way to tackle this issue is to have phone sex. You can even plan dates on a web cam and have your own fun under the sheets! Do some research and you will find numerous other ways to satisfy your woman. Be creative in your "lovemaking" and your woman will love it!