Finally We Both Said It!

It happened on Sunday. I didn't mean to do it. I promise. We were talking on the phone, and I asked him where our relationship was going. I told him if it wasn't going anywhere, then no problem, I'd find someone else. When I got up that morning, I never thought that would be the conversation I would be having a few hours later. I was trying to bring it up gently, and he said "If you've got something to say then just go on and say it." So I said, "Well I'm in love with you." "Are you in love with me?" "I think about if we'll get married and if we'll have kids." "I can't help it, this is what I think about." "So are you in love with me too?" He said, "I don't know." "I know I'm in lust with you, but not in love with you." That was like a knife through my heart! I felt bad and started crying. We talked a little while longer, but I had to get off the phone and leave for work. He sounded depressed when we got off the phone and ended our conversation. We hadn't broken up or anything, but the conversation just ended. He texted me later while I was at work. "Are you still pissed at me?" I wasn't able to answer back right away. So, he texted again, "I guess so then." I texted back later. "I'm still upset." "Okay" was all he texted back. Finally, I had a break and we talked on the phone during my break. I don't remember who called who. He said, "I have something to say and you're not going to like it." "Okay, let's hear it," I said. Somehow I was nervous, but yet I felt okay. He said, "I do realize that I love you, but I don't know if I'm up for marriage or if I'll ever be ready." "I know I'm not ready right now, but I do love you." I was so happy to hear that! "That's all I wanted to know," I said. He said, "I'm not saying it's not ever going to happen, but I'm not ready." That's fine I said. There's nothing wrong with that. I just wanted to know it was a consideration for some day. He told me he had talked to his parents and they helped him realize what he was feeling. I knew his parents liked me, which was funny because they didn't at first, because I'm older than him. So, he said to me, "Now you have to say it back." "No, I said, "I'm at work!" "You have to say it!" He kept on and on till I said "Fine, I love you too!" "Happy?" He said, "You went through all that drama and now you don't want to say it?" I said, "It's not that, but I feel weird saying it at work." Oh well! Since Sunday, he has texted me every day with an "I love you" text and it is so sweet! It's so awesome to take our relationship to the next level. It's still weird to say it, I'm waiting for it to feel natural. It's weird, but it's weird good, not weird bad. Well, here's to weird good conversations and I love yous!
Starbukkslady Starbukkslady
41-45, F
1 Response Jan 8, 2013

:) it was so nice to read your article. hope you have many many more i love yous ! :)

Thank you so much saxopuppy! I hope so too. :)