I Never Thought

I've known him for two years. He lives four hours away from me, on the opposite coast of my state. For him, it was love at first sight. But I am very cautious about who I trust. And he really annoyed  me.  :)  He's very sensitve and emotional and somewhat shy and antisocial. We are complete opposites in many ways.

But he's stuck with me even though I've been a ***** to him many times. We started going out on Feb. 7. And I'm so scared. He's the only boy I've ever been in love with and I don't want to put myself in a position where I can get hurt. I have trust and commitment issues. But he treats me like a queen. He thinks I'm perfect, making me feel like the most beautiful person alive. His love for me is so deep, it used to scare me. But now I appreciate it. I know what true love is. He honestly can't imagine living life without me.

He's getting really depressed about me going to school 6 hours away. It will be so hard. He wants to marry me. I'm not ready to make a committment like that but I don't want to hurt him. I'm afraid the even bigger distance will make me give in to temptaions. I don't want to hurt him. And I don't want to hurt myself. And I know I love him, but sometimes I still try to flirt and attract other guys, even though I feel guilty. I don't know why I sabotage my relationships. I'm so scared of getting hurt. I am really scared

yisrael yisrael
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 1, 2009

I am not worried about him cheating; he's made it very clear since we became friends I'm the only girl for him. I'm not ready to make a promise like that to him. I just don't want to hurt him, which I'm afraid I will do. It's just so hard when you make yourself vulnerable, and it's even worse when you can't see him everyday