A Continent, An Ocean, and An Island Apart

 I live in Alaska, my love lives in England.  We are both extremely introverted.  We met through an online dating service.  Having said all that.... We started out sending emails every few days, then he invited me to chat with him.  After a couple of months, he asked if he could call me on the phone.  Over the last 9 months, we have become each others best friend and confidant.  When his current job project is complete, his plans are to move to Alaska with me, get married, and live here for at least the next year.  After that, we will decide what job project is next and how far we wish to travel to make it happen.  We have become so close, so emotionally connected, it's hard to imagine that we have not met in person.  Our love continues to grow by leaps and bounds.  10,000 miles?  I can't be sure, but that's darn close.  Soon, my love, very soon!

I love this man with all my heart, but that doesn't stop me from feeling lonely and wondering if I am simply living in my own little world.  We have experienced a lot of emotions over this time and distance, ups and downs, and still we find ourselves reaching out to one another.  Yearning for the time when we can be together, wondering if it will ever happen.  Praying to God for patience and enough love to bridge this gap until we are face to face.  I often find myself wondering, what will that first moment together be like?  Will we laugh?  Will we cry?  I can not think about him without my heart skipping a beat, and I know that he is a part of me.  And  I know, when I get his sweet emails, that I am a part of him.

I didn't start out even thinking about a long distance relationship, but here we are, and I would not trade anything in this last year!  We both giggle when we thing back to the beginning.  Neither one of us took this very seriously.  Somehow, all at once it just became crystal clear that what we have is something special and worth pursuing.  That first tentative, feeling like you are losing your mind, "I love you", has turned into  the sweetest, most wonderful love either one of us could have ever imagined.

Am I worried that we have not met in person?  Sure.  Who wouldn't be?!  One thing I know for certain, we have great communication skills.  We can talk about anything.  We are comfortable sharing our emotions with one another.  And even at this great distance, we have managed to be each others best support system, best friend and confidant.  When one of us cries, the other one knows it, even before the email or phone call goes out.  With a connection like that, we are going to be just fine.  :)  

For all of you out there with doubts and fears.... Go back and read that last email, that last message.  No matter what is  going on, we always save that last paragraph to share emotions, and the last three words are always, 'I LOVE YOU'!!!  Never leave room for doubt.  When I don't hear from him for 4 days, I KNOW it is because he is swamped with work, and we are on opposite sides of this earth with a 9 hour time difference!  I work full time with a two hour commute each day, he works 18 hours a day.... our schedules are completely insane!  Just when I begin to worry that something might be wrong, and I am reading that last 'I LOVE YOU', I get a new email, telling me what has been happening, and a brand new 'I LOVE YOU'!  Everything in my world is right again.  We never send cross words.  There will be plenty of time for that, the rest of our lives.  We decided right from the start that we would treat each other as if the other is the most precious gift in the world. 

"The only happiness in life is to love, and be loved" --George Sands--

My wish. . . .  for everyone to find the love of their life!  I thank God every day for mine.

Update:
On October 02, 2010 my love died in a work related accident.  He never got to come home to me.
It's been 16 months now and I am still on a very unstable emotional road.  
Thanks for reading my story.  The ending was not anything I would have thought could happen.

 

nightowlinak nightowlinak
41-45, F
13 Responses Mar 3, 2009

I never thought the distance in the relationship was a 'great' thing. We were both miserable because we were apart. Maybe we loved harder because of it, I don't know. It certainly didn't hurt any less when he died.

This was so sad!!
even am living a long distance relationship n its been 2 years since we're together.
like everyone we also have ups n downs but luckily it dont affect our relationship,am dying to see him in person,wrap him in my arms
one thing is very important in a LDR,it's TRUST!
but we're in always in touch with each other whether in texts,skype,email or even facebook
living this kind of relationship is just great
I heartily wish everyone best of luck n may u find ur true love

I can not write without crying so I will make this short and to the point.<br />
He died on October 2, 2010.<br />
<br />
Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.<br />
<br />
And maybe someday I will feel like my heart is not completely broken.

Hang in there...it will get better. I met the love of my life online too, in September '09. Emails led to skype calls and IMs. We made a soul connection, which is what you've done. It never got 'physical' online; just a lot of sharing, discussing, connecting... <br />
<br />
In June this year, he finally came for a visit and we spent 19 wonderful days together. I'll NEVER forget our first meeting where I waited for him with my heart in my mouth. But seeing him that first time, all doubts, all fears vanished. It was so comfortable, so right. M is real! He's back in the US, working to get out here to Singapore to be with me. We talk every day at least twice or thrice, more and longer on weekends.<br />
<br />
Tip: If you have an iPhone, get skype and their monthly country plan - it's been a God-send for us.

all1rog,<br />
I have smiled and laughed, and I have cried rivers of tears. The one thing that remains true is how much we love one another. I asked God for my one true love. I guess I forgot to request that it come easily. Would it mean as much to me if I didn't have to work so hard? Would I cherish it, if it was just laid at my feet without any effort on my part or his? Would I have this much respect for a man who didn't have to hold on as tightly as myself to keep this love strong? <br />
<br />
When I cry I remind myself that I can not have happiness if I have not known sadness. Each day I wake up to another day alone, I remember what is the most important of all. The Love. My heart is 10,000 miles away. But his love is right here inside of me.<br />
<br />
He just sent me the song 'Landing in London' by 3 Doors Down. He has been in London for the last two weeks, working... shortly he will have to head back to the main project. My heart just felt crushed to hear this song and I know in the depths of my soul just exactly how he is feeling. <br />
<br />
Anyone out there who believes in God with me, I could use a prayer, to bring him home soon. <br />
Hugs

There are many of us out here. I am continually amazed at just how many. <br />
It's not easy. Hang on tight and have faith in your love.

wow...first paragraph story of my life...lol...hes in england and im in california...but i can connect with him more then i ever could with anyone else...i trust him with my secrets..secrets that ive never told anyone else.. glad to no there are others

unique71, Believe. Believe with all your heart, it's the doubts that finish us off. This is what my love wrote me me many months ago:<br />
<br />
". . . . I know sometimes I get scared,I ask myself questions and all that but all those are not Godly,fear and doubts can do nothing but to destroy what we have and I will not let my heart move towards that direction. "<br />
<br />
Certainly there are times when the doubts, worries and fears try to crowd their way in, and I take a deep breath, and I open that last email, and the last three words are always..... I love you!! He NEVER forgets that most important thing of all, the LOVE. When I go to bed at night, I say Good night to him, out loud! I trust that God will give him the message since God is the one that brought him into my life in the first place. <br />
<br />
You are right, ANYTHING is possible, if you believe, if you open up your mind and embrace what you know is right.<br />
HUGS

Emails and other forms of internet communication sure are a blessing in these kinds of situations. I commend you for your persistence. And I have also discovered that there is nothing wrong in feeling lonely or scared or wanting to cry. Recognizing that feeling and allowing it to happen often provides half of the relief. I hope you continue to have your open communication, it's incredibly vital.

I am from the US and met someone through the computer who also lives in England. The relationship has only been going on for a couple of months, but I love him! I feel exactly as you do. We have a very special connection. It is beautiful! I am actually supposed to meet him soon. I know I will! It feels so right, like it would just be wrong for it not to work out. So dear, I am in the same situation as you. I cry cause I long to be with him, but when I hear from him it makes my day. Keep praying and ask for this to work. It may take time, but if it was meant to be, it will be. I have high hopes for you two.

This has been one challenge that I was not prepared for. I didn't plan on loving someone outside of my own city, let alone out of state or out of country! I have been on my own with my children for the last 13 years. At first it sorta felt like a yo-yo, up flying high with happiness tonight, and crying in my cereal the next morning, wondering how any of this could possibly work. Why is fate so freakin ornery? <br />
<br />
After a few months of letting my mind adjust to the idea, and letting our friendship flourish, I realized that my highs and lows had mostly stabilized. For perhaps the first time in my life, I was feeling calm and peaceful. Sometimes I miss him so much I start crying, so I call him, only to find that he is doing the exact same thing. It's hard to mix schedules and time zones. I have often said we live in a time warp. <br />
<br />
On his afternoon meal, he will send me a 'Good Morning Darling" that I will wake up to in my email. Alternately, I then know that he checks and send email on his afternoon break, so I sent emails just before I go to bed, so that he is sure to have morning or afternoon email. The ability to have constant communication is completely awesome. (and the post office wonders why we don't send letters anymore!?) <br />
<br />
A precious treasure, indeed!

I am going through the same thing, with 2,500 miles separating me and the one I know I was meant to share my soul with. I never expected anything like this to happen to me, but I love this man with everything I have, and it's the most precious treasure I've ever found. <br />
<br />
Good luck to you.

Finally, someone else who gets it, this story hit home. Good luck to you and your sweetie. :)