Cheating 5 Years

i dont know where to begin. me and my girlfriend met 5 years ago and fell in love. omg it was wonderful the first 3 years together then i dont know i just lost that connection and loving feeling inside. she has helped me so much and still does she supports me and has helped get me another job. all she does is try to be there for me and love me and for some stupid reason i treat her like **** and **** other girls. 4 months aago i met these lesbian/kinda bi girls and just started sleeping over there and rolling and high and drunk and just **** like crazy like they were so horny and i guess i was living in this fantasy world like i didnt have that with my girlfriend it was exciting and passionate. anyways so yea i dont know i want to work it out with my girlfriend and go back to how we were in the begging. someone please help me im a horrible person i need help.

shnugglebear531 shnugglebear531
22-25, M
1 Response Feb 24, 2010

hey man. im in a relationship that's going on 5 years at xmas. im also a piece of **** but a different kind of piece of **** than you, i cheated in the beginning of the relationship because he wasn't giving me reassurance and that affected my already there insecurity and self disgust (which was also due to my previous relationship which was when i was very young and had a 12 year age gap with the guy). so as a result of my insecurities i cheated on him numerous times, mostly just made out under the influence of something or other. i didn't even enjoy it at all, any of the times. he found out about it the first time he was angry, hurt and disgusted. then we got back together and he held a grudge, so when things went bad it turned into a vicious cycle of deception. betrayal is absolutely disgusting. he also cheated on me as revenge and to make himself feel better coz he needed to, which it totally understandable. but he ******, all the way. once. anyway, that's just trivial ****. right? pfft. aaanyway. <br />
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im the luckiest girl in the world to still have him in my life. he's the love of my life, and i hope i spend the rest of my days and nights with him. he makes me happy. he's the best person in the world, and im not idealizing him. ;)<br />
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i dunno how you feel for this girl, but figure it out and move accordingly. we've managed to put the past behind us for the most part, but we're not exactly 'together' in the typical sense in his eyes. he says he can never trust me again. ever. so if you feel this way for her because of guilt, stop. you should feel guilty, but you shouldn't get back with her because you feel guilty. you may love her but not want to be with her. or you still want to be with her and the guilt is set aside as a separate issue. it's your call. either way she has to know, i made the mistake of lying to myself about the whole thing to the point that i believed my own lies that 'nothing ever happened' and he found out from other people. it was a lot worse than it would have been if i had told him myself. i hope all goes well for you. take care, and don't ******* cheat. ;)