In A 7 Year Relationship But So Lonely

Hi! My name is Melissa. I am 32 years old and I find myself posting to this site tonight in an effort to reach out to see if anyone else is in my situation. I have been with my partner for 7 years. We have two children together but he has really changed. Honestly. I'm not perfect and I never claim to be but he literally plays video games all night and mastrubates to ***********. He never wants intercourse. This started about two years go but it has gotten so bad he never comes to bed at night, ec. The worst part is when I try to talk to him about it he gets very angry and defensive and always has excuses! I will cry in front of him and he does not care! I talked to him about opening up our relationship bc I want to be open and honest with him but he does not want that he says nothing is wrong, and clearly there is! I recently had his baby and I have been talking about sex for weeks as its been almost 2 months since we had sex, and the other night I initiated it and he told me his penis hurt and he couldn't have sex. I got upset and tried to be frank with him and find out what was going on and he rolled over and refused totalk to me. I know h is not cheating bc he is always home. Could it be that he just isn't attracted to me anymore but comfortable with me o he stays? This s what I feel, and. Have point blank asked him this, his response " whatever" and walks away! He is 36 years old. I feel he should be able to better handle his emotions. I'm so tired of being in a lonely relationship! Anyone else know what I am talking about?
mysonsanangel mysonsanangel
31-35, F
4 Responses Nov 28, 2012

I'm a 'Changer' so maybe this isn't the best advice, but I would firmly request couples sexual counseling under threat of separation. My mother stayed in a sexless marriage for 30 years, crying herself to sleep many many nights only to cheat on him, leave him and then remarry with her paramour. She is the happiest person I know now. She has advised my brother and me in our own lives that if our sex life is slipping to get to a counselor right away. She feels her marriage could have been saved if they had gone 15 years earlier instead of when they did right at the end. My father was the same way, childish and refusing to talk about his emotions. He is now one of the most unhappy people I know, screwing up one relationship after another with his childish antics, poor communication skills and obsessive attachment to the television. Don't beat yourself up, it's him, not you. Your body is a temple to be worshipped and he's blind if he can't see that.

Thank you both for the responses. Yes Three Decades alone, he can be an ******* (if you look at it from the standpoint that he lets me cry and cry and shows no signs of compassion) but I also agree with troubledatheart b/c I do think he is addicted to the computer, but here we go, me justifying his behavior. whey do we do that? Why do we protect them when they are wrong?

My father also suffers from **** addiction. He nearly lost his government pension just months before retirement because he couldn't stop looking at it at work. It's a problem that I believe can destroy intimacy.

Troubled could be right... But it also sounds like he IS AN A55HOLE!

Oh my friend.... Read the stories of the good people in this group and know that you are among friends WHO UNDERSTAND