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I Miss The Fire And The Spark

I once was a young girl (26), single mom in the most passionate relationship of my life, with my married boss. (going through a divorce)
Feeling all but guilty because, although he had cheated on her with 5 other women over the years, he was leaving her for me. Feeling like I new he would end up cheating on me. I am no fool, afterall- just a home wrecker.
I meet this nice good looking guy at a bar one night. Broke up with the boss and dated this guy to ease my conscious. Good man, good job, good values. We didn't have sex until married.
Abolutely no chemistry but I wasn't looking for passion and heat and fire- I was running from it!
Well here we are 11 years later and a passionless marriage stinks! I married this guy for the wrong reasons- for stability, to get away from the other guy who I new was wrong for me but oh so right in so many ways.
The other guy did get married and does cheat on his new wife all the time as well. So I am sure dumping him was the right thing to do but marrying my husband wasn't.
Sure we have shared some good memories but at night I long for so much more than a companion.
I have became a Christian since getting married and divorce at this point is not an option. Went through several years of sever life altering anxiety because of the bad marriage. Learned how to live through it. He is a good guy, can get mean and be a little sexist at times but he has grown over the years. Never physically abusive just emotionally. He is better now. We are in a good place right now. Not just tolerable, more than that but still lacks any passion or chemistry. I fantasize about that too much. Meeting someone that I click with. I miss that fire.
mommaofkids mommaofkids 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2011

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I have a very simlar experience. Although I wasn't trying to escape a i tense passionate relationship, I have had a string of lovers before settling down with my now husband. I am in therapy now for a number of reasons but one of them is the fact that I miss being desired and desireing someone. This is why i had so many lovers, i adore that spark and inital chemisty you get and was quite possibly addicted to it. I have a wonderful husband who is kind, trustworthy and reliable but i just wish he had more passion! He has never been like this so I guess I can't complain too much. Its not like hes changed since we have been maried, its just that I have changed. I just yearn for someone to ravish me, to give me that kind of sexual attention and ignight the sesuality that I crave. I wish I had some advice for you hun, im in the same boat muself and boy does it get lonely xxx

Have you considered sex therapy or going with your husband to a sex techniques workshop?