I have been in a relationship with a married man for over 6 years, and when it finally came down to the wire, he just couldn't leave her, or the life he has known for as long as he has. He had promised me, assured me, he had known and had made his decision a long time ago, that it was me he wanted to be with and not her, I feel like a fool....And after all that time, a miscarriage and all the pain from going through that, he decides to stay with her...The question is what do I do? Walk away, say nothing, let him continue to live this life of his, I'm struggling to know what is the right answer, and how I'm to ever move on from this...He couldn't even tell me to my face, he told me through a phone call, and cried like a baby, then, never contacted me again that day, just through my email, telling me how sad and empty he was, and that he knew I would be going through the same feelings...I have no idea what to do...
timetomoveon123 timetomoveon123
41-45, F
2 Responses Aug 28, 2014

Hi, how are you coping? Things better at your end?? Stay strong!!

I'm doing ok.....I have been trying to think ahead, not get too caught up in the mess of the last few months, it's tough, I get upset everyday, but feel a little stronger too, with each day that passes....As for contact, am sure it will be no surprise to hear that he has been in touch, he told me he did miss me, that he would always miss me..and a load of other stuff!! ( Just words)...

It seems that no matter what decision they end up making, a part of us, stays with them...Their lives plod on, just as they ever did, the contact and the reality we shared is gone, and as the months go on, perhaps his regrets will really come to the surface...I believe that for me, whatever his future course, I have to put ME first, and move on, and find a man who doesn't have to struggle with a decision to be with me, and someone who has the guts and balls to really make a go of it!

Thank you for your message, how are things with you?? Hope you are doing well, and keeping strong... :)

It still amazes me how similar all our stories could be and yet we continue making the same mistakes thinking somehow that our story will end differently.
My MM's wife caught him with some intimate messages from me and went completely crazy. She harassed me constantly and call me a lot of names and he kept quiet, playing the part of a good family man being seduced by a bxxxx.
And she threatened to leave with the kids. He actually told me that this is a good opportunity for him to let her go but he can't. He can't let go of the kids just yet and asked me to continue to be there for him and don't ever give up on our love. And having said that he went back to her and is doing his best to patch up the relationship with his wife and neglecting me in the process.
A very dear friend on EP told me that I can't win in this situation. That I should cut my loss and move on. Perhaps you should do that too.

I'm trying my best at the moment to do just that...He too in the past asked me to hang in there, not to leave him, and that we would get through the crap and be together, just words to me, he never actioned any of it.. :( I have not had any messages from him now in over a week, ( I ignored all the messages though), we haven't had any contact at all in over 2 weeks now....Your right about cutting my losses and moving on, but I know that is exactly what is needed....

I really hope that you are stronger, and happier now....All I know is this is a chapter of my life, that has to be closed. You cannot change the past, but we still have chance to change our future! Good luck and take care...