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I Felt Unwanted

I'm in a relationship this time but i am being ignored, and feeling unwanted..
My boyfriend lived thousand miles away from me.. He kept on telling me that he is busy with his schedule, and had many conflicts to deal with. We were now one year but if i would look back from the first 6 months of our relationship, i could remember how good he was, and how much he cares about me.I could really feel his true affection of love. I know that his life wasn't great because he has many things to deal with and it been so hard for him. I understand that.. In fact, i just keep on waiting on him. I think, my patience is just so wide. I had to wait for him 'cause if i won't, then our relationship would end up to nothing. There were times when he'd never talked to me for 1 month but im still holding and still waiting when he would go online.. I think, i am just the only one holding our relationship and keep trying to stay calm and patient.. The next past 6 months wasn't good.. I had to understand him and i had to be more patient. Till now, im still waiting and keep emailing him and reminded him that i am still here waiting. I sent him almost 7 emails for about 3 weeks but he had never corresponded.. The first 6 months that we had, was the most perfect communications that we had, but the last 6 months was the most disappointing communications. If i'd never sent him a card, he would never remember our 1st anniversary and how long he had never talk to me. Am i really in a relationship? or in an empty relationship? I do really love him but it seems like he doesn't care about me anymore..what am i gonna do? i keep thinking what he really wants but i don't get an answer..I felt so sad about our relationship.. hope anybody here could give me an advice..
ImawomanwholoveGod ImawomanwholoveGod 22-25, F 11 Responses Oct 20, 2012

Your Response


Call him and ask if there is anything wrong with you that he didn't like. you might have not known or you might have thought you have not done any but there might be an incident that happened between you and him and ask 'what best I can change myself to make our relationship stronger?' by asking this question he might be happy that you are a down to earth person and he may feel bad for letting you down for the past 6 months. You are a beautiful woman so he might not leave you it is only some issue with you that may bother him I believe. If chance permits visit him in person and tell all these things and express how much you love him and how much you miss him then he will definitely come for you. Even though I'm not experienced in issues like this or not a counselor i hope it will bring some kind of relief to you. may god bless you and bring peace and harmony for you and your partner so that you both live happily long together.

I have tried that many times.. and yes i called him but there is nothing wrong with Him.. He kept on saying busy but anyway its over.. He gave up on me because he can't handle the long distance relationship. He said he is busy with his 4 kids right now and he can't give time to me,so we broke up and we decided it both... but im still happy whatever his decision..I know God preserve someone better more than what i expect.. I am not longer in a relationship right now and just paying attention watching and taking care of my brother and sister since they were going to school soon.. need to look them up..anyway, thank you for that messages but we get over it 4 months ago..

Okay your story is written long back so lot of things might have changed. Anyway you will get a good life partner and things happen for a reason and they are good so do not worry. your brother and sister are lucky to have a sister like you to take care. You are a sweet child of god so god wont let you. have a great life ahead.

Yeah right! Lots of things has changed.. I know that i will have a good life with God's guidance and protections. I am not worried for i know God is with me.. Yeah its true,they are lucky as i am... For i know they were too good to me and respect me in their ways...

Let him go, move on. I did what you are doing for 4 years then ended marrying the man of my dreams who I waited for so long....10 years have passed and he's not into me. I lied to myself, he doesn't want to be with me. We have 3 girls and I know he regrets marrying me. I'm not happy and neither is him. I guess he married me just out of kindness that I begged and waited for him for so long, he felt sorry for me. Move on and find someone who will appreciate you. He probably has someone...mine cheated on me during the long distance on the 4 years and confessed it years later.r

Just new in the community but would have loved to know if you got the perfect advise from some one as a good friend.If not so,you said you love him right,just follow your heart & lovely emotions as a true lover & pray harder.Destiny will take its courses in due time.Don't be discouraged because it happens to all men.Thanks

thank you for that.. but sad to say, we just broke up one month ago and i think we will never be again.. i loved him, yes but i think my love for him wasn't enough to make him stay with me.. hoping and praying that one day, i could find someone better more than what i expect..hoping we could be friends here.. happy new year and May the Lord bless you with so much joy, love and happiness in life.. you take care..

Even sex is just an event unless there is love.

I am so so sorry for you.
Emptyness is just so horrible.
Look for love and give yourself to someone who will love you.
It sounds like he is weak. Too week to tell you that he does not love you or too lazy to come and get you.
I think you need your close friends to support you and help you find someone who will love you.

One thing I saw a response where you were worried about 'looking pathetic' if you take away one thing and that is do not feel that way. Do not make decision based on that type of feeling.

i am confusing right now.. i do not know what to decide base in my relationship.. i am getting tired but i don't want to give up.. i want to hold on but it seems like i am the only one doing it for this long distance relationship.. i hope picking up someone to love me is easy but it is not the way we expect.anyway, thanks for your wonderful advise..

sometimes that happen and online relationship is really hard,why not spent time with your friends so you wont feel lonely.

i would be looked pathetic if i would spend my time with them.. i have them, but still my mind thinking somewhere.

in that case try to talk to your bf what really the score so you wont think and you know where your place in his heart ....

i have tried to asked him many times and he would always say he loves me.. i don't know what to believe.. but all i know this time is just, i am in a relationship but i feel single still.. i have tried to send him two emails for the past two weeks but i don't get any response from him.. in the month of october, i got only 1 response from him. i do not know what to do now and how to start my life..

well im sure something going on where are you from and your bf?the best thing is not to expect much because you will be hurt if in the end you have nothing to look for in the relationship and i guess make some acquaintance so it would be better for you too...

i don't think if making some acquaintance would be a good idea just to forget my feelings towards him but i know time will come and i will remember no more his name.. i am from the Philippines and my boyfriend is came from Michigan, USA..

2 More Responses

Stop contacting him and you will see soon enough if there is a relationship at all. You need to know now! That is not asking too much. If 90 days rolls by and you hear nothing.... you are in fact finished because he was not that into you.

thanks for that.. i just felt empty this time.. i am being ignored.. i sent him an email again yesterday but he never responded me.. i think i really need to stop for a while and wait for days till he would talk to me, if not, then I'm finished..

Wise choice!

I get the impression your boyfriend has been pulling away for some time even though it's only the last 3 weeks you haven't heard from him at all. The unfortunate thing about a distance relationship is that there has to be so much trust because it's so easy to behave badly, undetected. Can you really trust him? Also, I think, by waiting around for him you are giving him too much power so he can treat you how he likes and he knows you'll always be there. I suggest you try to move on. You may find that if you stop chasing him he wonders why and starts chasing you, but even if that happens I suggest you think carefully. A relationship shouldn't be one sided and if he isn't willing to give, in the same way you are to him then it isn't likely to work and you should seek a more compatible partner. I wish you the best of luck with finding your way forward.

Thanks for that comments and advises.. I hope that would be so easy to do. I guess, it would be better if would think first about my decision.. I love him so much and i don't want to let him go.. So I'll better think first if letting him go would be a good decision. I don't want to make a decision that will hunt me back..

from seeing your avatar photo your a verry cute and a beautiful lady,,,,you need to start dating,,,, time waits for no one

it is not about the beauty.. its about the feelings between the two people.. i don't know if i could still give my love to others yet.. it is not easy..

Hi. I admire your patience for putting up with him all this time. Honestly, I am not too hopeful about your situation. I have always believed that a relationship has to be nurtured to make it grow and it takes effort for two people to make this happen especially in this case when you are in a long distance relationship. I think you have to assess now and make a decision if you can live with this kind of relationship. The mere fact that you are feeling uneasy now means that you know that something is not quite right. You deserve to be happy. :)

hi,thank you for that wonderful message.. I know there is something wrong about our relationship and i wanted to know what is going on.. I waited him for so long.. He told me that someday, everything will gonna be okay.. I don't know what exactly to say and to decide but the only thing i know is that, i love him.. This is only the reason why i keep holding and stand firm with conviction for this relationship though I'm hurt and I'm getting tired but still i remain loyal for him.. I just hope he could realize how long i am waiting on him..

dont you think it is time to get your life together,,,,,he must have another girl friend,,maby a wife,,,,he is trying to cut you loose with out hearting you,,,

he is a divorce guy.. we just met once this year and spending 8 days together.. i was happy being around him but day by day he seems changing.. i don't want to get hurt again, so i just think positive all the time to avoid hurting my own feelings..i just hope he could remember me still..