So In Love But Feel So Unloved..dont Really Know What To Anymore??

I'm a 26 year old female in a sexless relationship..I've never experienced anything like this before in my life. I'm embarrassed to speak about it with any family or friends. This is my last hope for some kind of comfort. I'm in love with this man. We actually do well with eachother. We've been in this so called relationship that's what I call it cause it almost seems non existence to me for about a little over 2 years now..and I've finally admitted to myself that we are sexless. We sleep together do activities together eat laugh together argue and are affectionate with one another like any relationship just minus the sex life! It has been iffy from the get go sex every 4 to 5 months even tho I have tried numerous times to engage in sexual activities with him he always withdrawls from me..we only made out like twice ..we kiss lip to lip but never any tongue. I've talked to him about this plenty of times and seem to get no where still. I asked is it me. Do I not do it for you. Are you tired of me. Lets do anything you want sexually. Are you secretly gay and in the closet. Are you cheating. Do I not satisfy you anymore. It always less to fights and never gets resolved and I never get straight clear answers from him..I love him and I know there isn't anything wrong with his penis cause he gets hard ons has occasional wet dreams I see evidence of him watching **** and have caught him ************ even. I am beginning to give up and feel hopeless I feel loved but not physically and I contradict myself because I feel unattractive lonely and hungry for intimacy romance and mostly for some sexual satisfaction. And to add I'm 8 months pregnant with him and only pregnant because I guess I forced him to have sex with me one morning after 5 months of not having sex and he complied and ended up accidentally
knocked up. I've even gone to the point of talking to him about what he would do and if he would care if I found someone else to love me like he doesn't..and doesn't agree with it. And doesn't want anyone else to have me but wont give me satisfaction that I need. Help I don't know what to do..I love him I don't want to leave him or cheat..so confused and tired of being rejected this way. Its really starting to take a toll on me mentally emotionally and physically ..I always think he is cheating or talking to somebody else but its highly unlikely because we live together I take him to work and back etc. Etc. I don't see it being possible physically for him to be able to. What to do..
mimi1025 mimi1025
26-30, F
Jan 5, 2013