Well here goes. I really need some answers and quick. Otherwise, I'm going to end this relationship. Here goes. My mom passed 2 years ago. I went back home to handle all the arrangements and I ran into my high school sweetheart at the funeral. It was like I fell in love all over again when I saw him. We have never lost contact over the 20 years that we have been apart. Well, I stayed in town to close up the house and settle the estate and he came to visit me on his off days. Well once I left the area and came back home, we continued to talk everyday. We decided to vacation together in the mountains. It was beautiful. It was also the first time we ever made love. It only lasted 1 minute but I thought maybe it was because he was nervous. I mean we dated in high school and all we ever did was kiss. So this was new territory for both of us. Well we continued to have a great sex life for many months. I was 44 and he was 46. The unthinkable happened, I became pregnant. Neither of us ever gave that a thought because of our age. Well our son is now 13 months old. We continued to have 1 minute sex sessions throughout my pregnancy. I loved him so much, I didn't even mind. I was never really satisfied but I guess that was all he could do.
I have 2 adult children from a previous marriage. This is his first child. He acted strange throughout the whole pregnancy but I guess that was to be expected. He didn't tell his family until he was born. I thought that was very selfish. His mom is in her eighties. Well after the baby was born, I had a tubal ligation to prevent anymore pregnancies. I thought we would be able to enjoy sex even more without worrying about me getting pregnant again at 45. Well here is where it gets strange. October 2014 will make 1 year since we've had sex. We live 200 miles away from each other but we travel often to visit each other. He comes to visit us at least 4 days out of the month and he vacations at my home as well. I became concerned after about 5 months of him not touching me. I asked him if there was something going on he needed to tell me. He said, "whatever is going on with me, would be better discussed with my doctor". I accepted his answer and left it alone for another 2 months. I asked him if he had been to the doctor, he said no. He said "I think if I see you and rub your behind, I will be ok". Now he's been seeing me for the last 7 months so why didn't he just rub my behind if he thought that would be all he needed to do. Well of course when he came to visit, nothing happened. The next time he came, he waited until the night he was getting ready to leave to go back home to start playing with my breast. He fingered me and sucked my breast for about 15 minutes and then told me he was leaving. I said ok. Well now we are on month 10. I told him that I am very depressed due to the fact that he hasn't even tried to touch me in almost a year. He said, I'm sorry, I didn't even realize it had been that long". What a crock of ****. Then he said, "we really haven't had the time to have sex". He said, we have to wait until the baby is asleep. I said, "so you mean to tell me that when couples have children, they never have sex again. He said, "no, I'm not saying that". Then he tells me that we will just get a hotel room the next time he is in town. Me, him and the baby. (I have my own home with 4 bedrooms. My son's crib is in my room right now.) Now I'm lost. Why would I bring the baby with us to a hotel when you just used him for an excuse for us not having sex in my home. Wait a minute, I forgot to mention around month 6, (which happened to fall on Easter) we went to the beach with our son and my sister and her son. My sister kept our baby in her room. He still didn't try anything. I really lost it. I asked him what the heck are you really doing. He said " I wasn't going to have sex on Easter. Easter is really serious to me. Now that was the craziest excuse ever. I was really in love with this man but I have become so depressed, I can no longer take this treatment. I have never been so unhappy in my whole life. He will always have access to his son but I just can't stay in a relationship like this. He also doesn't help much with his son. He buys pampers and that's it. He told me that he has some bill to pay off and then he can help me more. I told him I guess the baby can eat and be cloth when his bills are paid. I have bills to but I know that I have to take care of my kids and pay my bills. No matter what. I have been on my job for 25 year so my salary does allow me to take very good car of my son. I am so sorry for the length of this story but I needed to write it down to post to another site for advice too. HELP. His 1 minute sex was better than no sex at all. What man doesn't know he hasn't had sex in a year? Is he gay? He also said he knows that I think it's because of my weight but its not. (last 20lbs is hell trying to get off)
brownbunny613 brownbunny613
41-45, F
2 Responses Aug 18, 2014

Also, maybe he thinks having a baby is a mistake.

Well the baby is here now and he is a precious gift from God. I wasn't trying to get pregnant.

Yes, he (your son )sure is the most precious gift for you. Love him.

I do CoolDad59. Nothing can change that.

Stay that way.

1 More Response

I think the problem lies with him. Seems like he is avoiding and trying to run away from you. Maybe he's gay, we'll never know for sure. But my bet is he is trying to cut loose.

That is a possibility. I gave him the
option to walk away when I was pregnant. I will offer it to him again. I'm definitely not going to meet him at a hotel.

That's the right decision. Hotels are a big NO.